How to Lose $80 at 80+ . . . or Not
Apple Technology 101: You’re never too old to learn. I promise.
Lesson one: Never remove an earbud without immediately putting it into its little happy case.
Oh, you already failed that one? You must be over 50. Somewhere in Never-Never Land is a football field paved with lost earbuds. That’s where they go when you think you put one in your pocket. Everyone under 50 has a secret safe place for temporarily-removed earbuds. It’s in their genetic make-up.
Lesson two: Never buy anything in an Apple store. Apple stores are where you go to take classes on how to use Apple stuff you buy at Target. The Apple people don’t care; they made their money selling stuff to Target where their stuff is wayyy cheaper. Six-year-olds know this.
Lesson three: Don’t go thinking you can pick up an orphan earbud (cheap) just because you still have its lonesome mate and little happy case. Everybody under 40 knows you just toss the abandoned mate and case, because they didn’t grow up in the Depression when you were taught never to throw anything away. (They worry about the environment just as you do, but there is a technological environmental disconnect.)
Lesson four: If you failed Lesson Three, do not pay the smiling Apple person $80 for a right earbud she swears…
