How to Tell You’re a Tourist in Your 70s
Spot the traveling senior
It’s not always easy to identify a tourist unless, of course, you’re over 70. In that case, you’re easily spotted because you:
Bring along a vial of Metamucil and a spoon.
Pack a container of Bran Buds.
Set three alarms to make sure you get up on time.
Bring a neck pillow and a tranquilizer in order to sleep on the plane.
No longer fly but only travel by bus.
Travel in groups of 20 or more.
Wear compression socks.
Only sign up for daily excursions under two hours that are rated “easy.”
Carry your prescription drugs in your onboard bag, never in your suitcase.
Bring a flashlight, just in case.
Make three copies of your itinerary, passport and health insurance particulars.
Don’t do any of the driving.
Tolerate buses more than you used to.
Are not embarrassed to wear your cargo pants and Tilley hat.
Never stray too far from the tour guide.
Still manage to fit in an afternoon nap.
