Member-only story
Featured
I Accessed the Contents of a Pill Bottle
And I still have all my body parts
We old folks often suffer from indigestion. It was my turn, and I needed omeprazole to fix it. Because the drug was overpriced at the stores close to my house, I put it on my Costco list.
My Costco list had chicken, coffee, and omeprazole. I climbed in my car and made the trip. After I got what was on the list and engaged in a little impulse buying, I’d spent $300, an amount that dwarfed any savings I might have realized by buying the drug at Costco.
I bought a three-pack of omeprazole. Forty-two pills — fourteen in each of three plastic child-proof medicine bottles. Each bottle was large enough to hold all forty-two pills, so I assume the three-pack was intended for families containing three people who suffer from indigestion but are uncomfortable sharing the same pill bottle. I do not know how many families like that there are, but Costco has their backs.
Once I got home with my purchases, I put my omeprazole on the kitchen counter and put away the other groceries. I left the battle with the drug packaging for last because it promised to be far more difficult than putting the gigantic box of cornflakes in the pantry.
The three bottles of omeprazole are snuggled into slots in a piece of heavy cardboard about the…