I Asked Some Old Men I Know to my House for Lunch
And the world did not end.
One stereotype in gerontology is that old men do not develop same-sex, social support systems as readily as women. I fit the stereotype. I have written on Medium that I have no friends, and like most of what I write, it is somewhere close to the truth.
In my current marriage, as in my two prior marriages, my wife takes charge of our social life. She manages houseguests, arranges parties, and supervises all things social. I do my best not to embarrass her or upend her meticulously laid plans.
Should my current wife predecease me, I had resigned myself to dying alone in an unkempt apartment close to a park.
But this spring, I broke the mold. Having seen my wife host card parties, family gatherings, support groups, and neighborhood female gab-fests, I decided to entertain old guys. I would invite the old men I know to my back deck for lunch. If they came, I would cook, as I do for all our social events. But this time, just for men.
The gerontology professors trembled, and the makers of stereotypes assured the world it would never happen.
The thought of it terrified me because the first step in this project, the invitations, required me to risk rejection. Loneliness may be a quiet ache that…
