I Don’t Always Feel Like An Adult

When the inside doesn’t match the outside

Vena Moore
Crow’s Feet

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Photo by Jennifer Bedoya on Unsplash

Lately, I’ve been wondering what an adult is. According to the dictionary, an adult is a fully grown or developed person. However, that begs the question of what criteria we use to determine if someone is fully grown or developed, as that can vary depending on the culture.

By all criteria, everyone who encounters me would consider me a mature adult according to the standards set by Western society. I have greying hair. I have a few extra pounds. I’m developing jowls along my neck that never existed before. However, my current appearance belies my experience because, in many ways, I was hardly a child during childhood.

My adultified childhood

I’ve been adulting literally since I entered puberty. I’ve cleaned my house hundreds of thousands of times, cooked thousands of meals, paid bills for over the last 25 years, made my own doctor’s appointments, and dealt with the aggravations of daily life for far longer than I can remember.

By the time I reached my 30s, I had some of the things I thought signaled adulthood in a high-income country: my own apartment and a job that paid a living wage. Surely these things proved I was the capable and confident adult I’d always hoped to be.

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Vena Moore
Crow’s Feet

Dismantling white, male supremacy one word at a time.