Imprisoned by age
I Miss Them!
Do you ‘visit’ them?
While living in a complex with 26 nearby residents, I can see a vast array of those who are ‘imprisoned’.
Some are imprisoned physically, as their bodies become older and frail. Others are imprisoned by their minds as they descend into dementia.
My friend Terri
Terri was quite active physically, yet she knew that she had a form of dementia that was genetic.
I would often chat with her in the hallways about her cat and about the wildlife we enjoyed. Terri was hard of hearing so it was VERY difficult to carry on a conversation with her until one day she was driving, getting her groceries in and…the next thing I knew was that she was GONE.
Her family had moved her quickly. I didn’t know WHERE.
Eventually, I tracked her down and sent a card and note to her. The card came back as if she no longer existed. I’m assuming she went to be with her Savior whom she often talked about. I miss her!
My friend Jan
Jan lived two doors away. She and her husband were fixtures around here, so enjoyable to know.
One day her husband fell in their kitchen. My son was there to help call the ambulance and stay with Jan until her family arrived. She, too, had dementia but her husband had been there to help her over the rough spots. Then he was gone.
Within days, Jan’s family moved her to an assisted living facility with memory care. When other friends visited her, she didn’t remember ever being our neighbor. Thus ‘visiting’ her took the form of a monthly cheery note to greet her. I miss her!
My friend Kay
Another neighbor, Kay, is the very definition of SPRY. She is in her 80s yet one can still see the young girl in her. She has a beautiful song bird which one can hear singing through the day.
Kay, too, has dementia but she still lives here on her own. I love talking to her but it is difficult since she repeats herself again and again within even a few minutes.
If I hear about a doctor’s appointment, I will hear the story again within minutes. Conversation means I must do some mental gymnastics to keep the topics moving along. Yet she is here. I can still see her and visit with her. Although difficult, I want to take advantage of each moment visiting with her because one day she, too, with be ‘gone’ and I will miss her.
My friend Bettie
Another friend, Bettie, I would see weekly at church where she had attended for over 80 years. She was quite a skilled pianist and organist. I enjoyed Bettie’s kind and welcoming ways.
Since I no longer attend ‘her’ church, I now talk with her on the phone every few weeks. She lives in her own home with her son and keeps busy doing word puzzles and other activities to keep her mind alert. She, too, has been diagnosed with dementia.
I notice a decline in Bettie now. She told me the exact same story about her father within about a minute of each other. My heart weeps for her!
Why do I share all of this?
Because each person, although having the same diagnoses, is unique, yet their needs are different. Some are still with us so we must take advantage of that by visiting with them in person. Others have been moved away by their families yet we can personally visit or send a cheerful note every so often. Others are gone from this earth yet we don’t forget the richness they have added to our lives.
Each situation is different yet, prayerfully, we will know how to continue being a friend and a blessing to those ‘in prison’.
“Then I, the King, shall say to those at my right, ‘Come, blessed of my Father, into the Kingdom prepared for you from the founding of the world. For I was hungry and you fed me; I was thirsty and you gave me water; I was a stranger and you invited me into your homes; naked and you clothed me; sick and in prison, and you visited me.’ Matthew 25:34–36
Please SUBSCRIBE if you would like to read more from me!
Also available in e-book format
Dawn Ulmer has enjoyed writing since the age of 19 when she wrote ‘My Philosophy of Nursing’. After marrying and becoming a mother, she developed a newsletter for young mothers called ‘Moms and Sidekicks’. She has been a columnist for a women’s newspaper in Grand Rapids, Michigan on the subject of time management. From that column, her first book was written and published: “Balance of the Hurried Woman”. Through the years, she has been published in ‘Decision’ magazine, ‘Our Daily Bread’ devotional and other publications. Presently, she is enjoying writing on Medium, her favorite platform.
If you would like to be added or deleted from my ‘Special’ list, please let me know.
