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I Now Understand Why Old Guys Like Suspenders and Long Shoehorns
I used to chuckle at old men’s clothing outfits, but I’m not laughing anymore.
I used to watch an old chef from Louisiana on television. I believe he was on PBS, and his first name was Earl. He had a distinct Cajun accent and a big belly. He always wore suspenders. Ever since then, I have noticed that, aside from fishermen in overalls, it is mostly older, overweight men who wear them. I now know why.
With every decade since I turned 50, my belly has been expanding. My pants have a hard time staying up, no matter how much I tighten my belt. It is great that I live in Florida and can wear shorts most of the year.
My wife thinks it's because I'm losing weight that my pants are falling. No. I explain to her it’s like trying to keep a rope around a beach ball.
I once went to a holiday party at a friend’s with a pair of stylish suspenders. I felt free, and my pants no longer slipped down. I was comfortable, but my buddy thought I looked silly. (This was before young metrosexuals and fraternity bros found them to be in style.)
After my brother-in-law died, his wife gave me some of his things. I had never owned a long shoehorn. However, I now know it’s a great invention because you don’t…
