I Was a Teenage Reprobate

Bad decisions and staying one step ahead of the law in the 1980s

Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash

One of the more serendipitous things I enjoy about life is when someone says something seemingly innocuous at first, but that ends up bringing back a flood of memories from the distant past. This happened to me the other day at, of all places, the golf course.

It seems like everyone I know, after buying a new home, becomes attached at the hip to either Home Depot or Lowe’s. My friend purchased a new home last year and was going on and on about how every weekend he makes a trip to Home Depot. This triggered a memory from my youth about my experience with Home Depot when I was 18. It’s something I haven’t thought about in a very long time.

Is honesty the best policy?

You will likely not believe this story, but I promise you it’s true. During the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college in 1984, I applied for a job at Home Depot, or some similar store in Parma, OH with a very similar name and selection of products. Parma is a heavily Polish suburb of Cleveland.

I filled out the application and gave it to the clerk. The very next morning I got a call from the manager asking me to come in for an interview that afternoon. I can’t even begin to think what I wore…