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I Will Never Wear These

Even if I live to be 100.

Lisa Alexander
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age
3 min readSep 11, 2024

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Photo by Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash

I watch a lot of YouTube fashion videos. A lot of “what to wear if you’re over 50” or “how not to look like a fool and stay in fashion if you’re old” stuff.

Many people have strong opinions on what you shouldn't wear if you're over 50.

I know, we’ve all read the articles that tell us to “go for it” and wear “whatever the hell we want” at any age.

But, let’s be real.

I’m not going to wear mini skirts or crop tops. Giant platform boots, except for Halloween, or the occasional Pride parade. Or a bikini. I don’t want to give off Magda vibes.

Although, if I lived in Florida, I think that kind of shit is allowed. I've seen women and men in their 80s wearing bikinis and speedos. Good for them.

But that's not going to fly in the Midwest.

Other items we cross off our list because of comfort. When I turned 50, I threw out all my underwire bras. I don’t need them.

I also voluntarily stopped wearing super high heels, although I do have a few pairs of high wedges. I rarely wear them but I like to see them in my closet, knowing I could wear them if I wanted. Say, if I'm going out to dinner, and my husband is dropping me off right at the door.

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Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age

Published in Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age

“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” (Frank Lloyd Wright) Non-fiction pieces, personal essays and occasional poems that explore how we feel about how we age and offer tips for getting the most out of life.

Lisa Alexander
Lisa Alexander

Written by Lisa Alexander

Former English professor, full-time yoga teacher, failed Greek Orthodox. Searching for wisdom, clarity, and a fresh bag of circus peanuts.

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