In Our Golden Years, New Friendships
The value of friendships in later life
Do you believe that friendships and social networks are set in stone? I did. “Once a friend, always a friend” was my mantra.
I was therefore disappointed when events proved me wrong. Have you also experienced losing contact with long-established friends and social contacts — especially post-retirement?
Are many of these dear people happy but distant memories?
My initial explanation for this regretful desertion was COVID-19 and my naivety about modern life.
Covid and the lockdown didn’t help. Many friendships and social contacts haven’t recovered from this enforced absence. You too may have experienced these disappointments
Then my naivety about modern life kicked in. At my age, this is ridiculous.
It has to do with the effect of modern social dynamics on people’s lives and relationships.
In these uncertain times, interests, priorities, and social networks evolve and change. This can lead to us no longer seeing the relevance of old friends and struggling to find new ones.
Finishing work and retirement, moving home, starting a new job, confronting personal challenges, and many other modern life trends can undermine the strongest friendships.
Other factors are also responsible for losing friendships.
Declining health makes it more challenging to engage in activities that were once the foundation of my social life.
Grief and the loss of close friends have also contributed to my increasing isolation and lack of social interaction.
Then, there are the prevailing cultural attitudes toward aging. Many Western societies appear to no longer value intergenerational contact. Too many of us are segregated from the rest of the community in a policy of generational apartheid.
But, after a period of retreat and encouraged by a Eureka moment of realizing I needed much more interaction with other people, the fight back began.
As an older person, I wasn’t going to be defeated. I was entitled to live a full and satisfying social life as much as the next person.
Who wouldn’t want our friendship? We’re interesting and stimulating companions. Our generation’s wisdom and experience mean we have too much to offer to be ignored.
After initial reluctance, I started building new relationships by joining clubs and groups. I met like-minded people and began to enjoy and respect their interests, memories, and opinions.
Encouraged by this proactive strategy, I engaged more with my community. Instead of a head-down approach when shopping or savoring my favorite flat white hiding behind the security of a book, I began to initiate conversations with selected strangers.
I haven’t discovered my new best friend yet, but life is more fulfilling by the luxury of these latest social connections.
These steps may take time and effort, but I now appreciate the value of friends in my later years for giving me emotional support, mental stimulation, and a renewed sense of purpose.
I’m confident these connections have transformed my outlook, elevated my daily experiences, and contributed to my well-being.
Discovering new friendships in later life isn’t just about adding names to our contact list — it’s about enriching our journey and ensuring that, even as time progresses, we receive all the benefits of meaningful companionship.
It’s the least we all deserve.
