I’ve Failed at Most Things in My Life
And I don’t feel at all bad about it
I’m a lists guy. I make a lot of them: shopping lists, to-do lists, bucket lists. I never met a list I didn’t like.
So the other day, I made a list of my successes and my failures in life. I wasn’t surprised to learn that most of my endeavors have been failures. I was surprised to see how one-sided the scorecard was.
My current marriage is holding up well, but I have two failed ones under my belt, so it is impossible for me to die with a winning record.
My employment history is terrible. I’ve been an awful (occasionally rising to mediocre) grocer, field worker, cash register repairman, retail clerk, schoolteacher, tow truck dispatcher and warehouseman. My entrepreneurship was no better. I failed being self-employed as a cartoonist, a soap maker, a tutor, and a cook.
I failed at practicing law three times as an employee and once self-employed.
I have a failed YouTube Channel and several failed blogs.
As a young man, I tried my hand at crime. I failed at shoplifting, dealing marijuana, and embezzlement. Today, I can’t even violate a parking regulation without getting nailed.
