Lost in Translation
Intergenerational estrangement
Fitting in is a luxury rarely given to immigrants, or children of immigrants. We are stuck in emotional purgatory. Home, somehow, is always the last place you left, and never the place you’re in. ― Scaachi Koul, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter.
The above quote, wise as it is, leaves out the reality that not fitting in also happens within immigrant families (and in families with adopted children). And, not fitting in is a dynamic phenomenon that presents new challenges at each life stage. When immigrants and their adult children become estranged from each other, or as happens more often, experience emotional distance, both generations pay the price by feeling unrooted, isolated, disrespected, and misunderstood.
A composite of a mother-daughter relationship illustrates the challenges.
Generation Zero: Preeti
Preeti is a retired accountant who lives in the American Midwest. She immigrated to the US in the 1970s. Her daughter Meena, son-in-law, and granddaughter live about twenty miles away.
When Preeti got an opportunity to learn a new craft, she immediately thought of her granddaughter Maya. How nice it would be, she thought, to make a little stuffed bunny rabbit for the five-year-old. Since the little girl…
