Love at 70 is Different Than Love at 16
Particularly when it begins at 60.
This is my favorite picture of my partner Rebecca and me.
We met on eHarmony a decade ago except we almost didn’t. In my application, I put a 300-mile limit on matches. When I saw Rebecca’s picture and profile, I checked and double-checked the milage. It was stuck on 323. Rebecca was no help as her #1 rule was “my matches will have to contact me.”
Love at 70 is different than love at 16.
Notice in the photo how we are leaning toward each other, even with those heavy packs.
This is where the backpacks become a metaphor, for everything each of us brought to the life we were building together.
Rebecca has three adult children. I have one. Our children have partners, children, careers and homes in Houston, Boston, Washington DC, and Minneapolis.
Decorah has been my home for 37 years. Rebecca has lived in Clarinda for 40 years. We both have community friendships that go back decades.
Rebecca has four living siblings. I have two. Fortunately, two years ago we detoured coming back from a vacation to see Rebecca’s late brother Mike a few months before he died from a fall.
We have former spouses who live in our hometowns.
And we each have a house.
I am writing this essay in the dining room of Rebecca’s home purchased by her and Rich forty years ago.
My MacBook Air sits on Rich’s paternal grandparents’ dining table.
I am looking at two red chairs and one grey sofa that we will move to our Decorah home when we can no longer travel between our towns.
Later today, Rebecca will visit Rich in a care facility and FaceTime with their three children: Emily, Jonathan, Libby, and families.
Three weeks ago, Rebecca and I attended my 55-year high school reunion. Last year, we went to my COVID-delayed 50-year college reunion. While at the reunions, we spent time with my brother Pat, sister-in-law Sue, a daughter Kate, and her two young children.
Four years ago we started renovating my Decorah house to make it comfortable for two aging lovebirds.
When I went on eHarmony, about a decade after a divorce, I discovered how much I enjoyed the companionship of women my age.
Rebecca was talked into eHarmony by a daughter. She too was looking for companionship.
As I met matches, all within my 300-mile limit, I began to wonder about late-in-life relationships.
What would intimacy be like?
Was love possible?
Life includes decisions that ripple outward.
I did not delete Rebecca’s eHarmony file. What’s 23 miles if…
Fate?
Good fortune?
You bet.
I now have a bigger backpack.
It’s full of new friends, family, experiences,
Intimacy
And love.
