Making Peace With a Changing Face

So much more than vanity is at stake

August 10, 2024, the author, at 80, at “The Wisdom Whisperers” book party on Fire Island. Photo by Susan Kravitz

Accepting your aging/changing appearance is key to a good life. Neither is easy. I made peace with my changing body before I felt okay about my older face. That’s it above, a few months ago. It ain’t half bad. But it’s certainly not what I looked like at 50, about to trot off to the The Vault, an S & M club in the West Village (now a footnote in outlaw night life). Lest you draw the wrong conclusion, I was on assignment for what would become a New York magazine cover story in 1994.

Photo: author’s private collection

I suspect that if you’re still reading, you identify (not with the S & M story — that’s your business). No one looks like they once did, not even a teenager!

And yet, appearance angst is everywhere. Propelled by social media, it punctuates conversations with my peers — even the most stunningly still beautiful. Some of my daughter’s friends had “work done” as early as their 40s. Even worse are the horrifying stories about cosmetic surgery for teens. Sure, I grew up in the nose-job generation and even knew a guy who had his ears fixed, but Botox and other injectables were not given to kids afraid of looking old.