Mindfulness, Equanimity, and the ‘Four Immeasurable Minds’
At my age, I like to think I have developed some degree of equanimity. I am not alone.
Most men and women of a certain age believe this. But some are too obsessed with their plight, bitter from life’s disappointments, or angry with others whom they blame for things gone wrong.
To be clear, equanimity is not a threshold through which we pass, but rather a lifestyle upon which we embark. And if we stay the course, we may realize a degree of mental calmness and composure in everyday life and the face of adversity. It is a significant aspect of mindfulness training. More on this in a moment.
In my experience, I recall from my youth a reactive tendency generally embedded within a mask of supreme confidence. Many will likely recognize this pattern as it is typical of young people. While it provided me with a significant boost of energy to work hard, as we will see it lacked sufficient reality to be grounded.
By middle school, I knew I wanted to become a veterinarian. I studied hard, sustained very high grades through high school, and was admitted to a college with a dedicated pre-veterinary program. Then I hit a wall: organic chemistry, second year of college. I complained to the professor and explained that the nearly-failing grade I had achieved was too low to meet the requirements of the pre-vet major. His response was brutal, he said simply, “I guess you need to change your major.”
There it was. I was reacting to my love of animals and acting out an unreasonable level of confidence. Until real life interceded. If I had been less reactive, I would have looked more closely at the college requirements, and perhaps I would have noticed that most veterinarians work in agriculture. I was a city kid thinking I would be caring for small pets. I was devastated.
Equanimity is as much about the anticipated future as it is about the remembered past. It supersedes pain, worry, anxiety, and sadness. One still perceives these mental states, but their power is muted by the calmness of a quiet mind. Equanimity suppresses emotional reactivity and mental anguish and permits the mind to remain open to all options, but most especially loving kindness.
In Buddhism, equanimity is one of the Four Immeasurable Minds: love, compassion, joy, and equanimity. They are called immeasurable because if you practice them, they will grow every day until they embrace the whole world. As explained by the venerable Thich Nhat Hanh:
“If we learn ways to practice love, compassion, joy, and equanimity, we will know how to heal the illnesses of anger, sorrow, insecurity, sadness, hatred, loneliness, and unhealthy attachments.”
The student of mindfulness learns to quiet her or his thoughts in order to become immersed in one or more of the Four Immeasurable Minds. Gradually with practice, he or she learns to experience and bring forth love, compassion, joy, or equanimity as a first-level reaction rather than as second or third-level afterthoughts.
Of these four, equanimity is arguably the most powerful.
Let us consider an interaction with one’s life partner. He or she makes a statement that strikes us as either irritating or flat-out incorrect. An untrained reaction may be an argumentative statement or equivalent irritation. A heated moment will follow, or even perhaps an open argument.
A student of equanimity will hear the cue and listen deeply, trying to understand the other’s point of view. Oftentimes, no return statement is necessary. Or perhaps he or she will choose a tangential comment that avoids openly confronting the other’s perspective.
Equanimity is a “big-picture” practice. In the above example, the listener perceives loving kindness as the most important reaction. Rather than debate the specific content of the partner’s words, he or she wisely decides a better response is a simple affirmative statement, “I understand.” Or even a non-verbal hug or grasping of the hands in solidarity.
While many young people practice Buddhist traditions such as mindfulness, equanimity in particular seems to be closely related to life experience. Having been battered about by life’s joys and tragedies, persons of advanced age appear to lean naturally toward equanimity. And let’s not forget that the Four Immeasurable Minds are first and foremost applied to oneself, the practitioner, opening the mind and clearing away superficial reactions like those accumulated over a lifetime.
What other common challenges may be conquered with these Four Immeasurable Minds? What about anger, perhaps the most frequently misapplied of all human emotions? From the Buddha’s teachings, particularly in the Anguttara Nikaya, we can see that by learning ways to practice love, compassion, joy, and equanimity, we will know how to heal the illnesses of anger, sorrow, insecurity, sadness, hatred, loneliness, and unhealthy attachments.
Anger is frequently a complicated mix of emotions and experiences. It may spring from sadness, hatred, insecurity, and a range of prior experiences that color our perceptions of the present circumstance. The most important thing to learn about anger is that it is both a normal human emotion and potentially a sudden inflated reaction seemingly beyond control.
As with the prior example, equanimity offers a momentary but critical pause — a break between the event spark and our reaction to it. By momentarily suppressing emotional reactivity and mental anguish, the surge of anger is delayed and softened, giving us time to decide on a reasoned response, if indeed any response is necessary.
Example. You’ve had a really tough day, you are exhausted, and while in line at the grocery store checkout, a fellow cuts you off. The gentleman walks right in front of you to get ahead in the line. You feel the anger flare up, and what would normally become a confrontation, is reduced to a minor comment, perhaps something funny and contrary to the situation: “So, you’ve had a rough day too?”
Your mindfulness practice has provided you with the tools to intercept the seed of anger, even without thinking about it, and a moment to decide on a reasoned and not overly harsh response.
How to achieve the way of mindfulness? There are many resources available. You can start online, check out some videos, and see what appeals to you. Keep in mind that there are more than a few schools of mindfulness, and you are likely to find different approaches in each. If you are interested in the Thich Nhat Hanh “Plum Village” school as described in this essay, then you may use the following link to locate a mindfulness community near you (many offer online meetings):
Vic Caldarola is the founder and lead facilitator of the Shine a Light Men’s Project, a men’s mindfulness discussion group, and a member of the Still Water Mindfulness Practice Center in Maryland. He holds a PhD in Communications Studies.
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