My Husband's Retired, but What Am I?
Imposter syndrome turns up in the strangest places
My husband retired this year after working his entire adult life. He's enjoying the lack of stress and responsibility, and I'm happy for him. He's earned it.
As for me, I'm doing what I've been doing for the past 10 years or so. Am I retired? I don't feel like it. I don't know what I am. Aside from reading hundreds of books, selling stuff online, and writing the occasional piece for publication, I haven't been working my ass off for a very long time. I'm a terrible housekeeper and a scattershot gardener. I act in local theater productions, which I laughingly refer to as the narcissist's idea of community service. I'm a good cook. That's about it.
I worked for a paycheck for fewer years than my husband did and for a lot less money, so when I claim Social Security, the 50% spousal benefit is my best option. That will be when I'm 66 and 8 months old next year.
The shame I felt upon realizing my lifetime earnings had been so meager brought me to tears. Thank God I never got divorced. I'd be living on cat food (or possibly cats.)
I quit working full-time when my son was young, and my ailing mother-in-law moved in with us. I had a couple of part-time jobs and did freelance writing along the way, but my…
