New GPS Settings for We Old People
Our values are different
I get lost. I’ve always been that way, so as soon as humanity developed alternatives to glove compartment maps from gas stations — those monstrous paper things that could be unfolded but never folded back up again — I shelled out my money. Over time, I owned all three brands: Garmin, TomTom, Magellan. I would plug the device into my cigarette lighter (remember those), and position it just right so it could connect to a satellite. Once connected, I had GPS, a little electronic map I could sit in my cup holder, and never be lost again.
Well, at least not as often.
My stand-alone GPS was eventually made obsolete by my phone, which I could port to my car with Android Auto. Today I have a Tesla, which, like most newer cars, has GPS built into a screen on the dashboard.
Each different GPS I have used had a value system that determined the routes it would concoct to get me to my destination. My earliest GPS, when asked to plot a route, would find the shortest path between me and where I was going, even if it meant driving on a barely visible cow path across Old MacDonald’s back forty. I guess that it picked the shortest route because the shortest way saves gasoline, and it imagined me to be a thrifty guy.
