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Old People Go High-Tech
The outing led to QR codes, simulators, and pizza bots
After three weeks of driving by the snow-covered golf courses and wondering why the sun was so ill-willed and weak, I realized I needed help.
The big storm demolished my schedule. I could feel my psychic stability draining like a goldfish down a smart toilet.
When a golf pal suggested we embark on a golf-themed expedition, I jumped at the opportunity like a flying fish. What I didn’t take into account is how often flying fish end up gasping on the deck of a boat.
They were as desperate for a green fairway as me, and one of them — we’ll call him Jerry because that’s his name — organized an outing to Top Golf.
We live in a cloistered retirement community where there is no traffic, you can leave your car unlocked, and people make phone calls using landlines. Everybody is one of the Olds.
The way I convince myself I’m not over the hill is by hanging around much older people. My golfing buddies are easily a quarter century beyond me. It’s mostly convenience but I suspect it’s also a devious psychology strategy to convince myself the Fountain of Youth is relative.