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Quit Resting Your Face

Own your power and speak out about the world around you

Brenda H.
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age
4 min readNov 5, 2024

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Queen Elizabeth and her resting bitch face. Photo by Mathew Browne on Unsplash

Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind — even if your voice shakes.— Maggie Kuhn

Have you ever wondered why so many people, women especially, are accused of having a resting bitch face? This term gets thrown around often, yet its implications reveal something more profound about societal expectations and the way we’re taught to express — or suppress — ourselves.

For women, in particular, there’s an early socialization process that teaches restraint. We’re often encouraged to hold back, to be agreeable, and to avoid expressing emotions that might be interpreted as displeasure or defiance.

I believe this is why so many of us develop what’s known as a resting bitch face. Over time, our faces adapt to concealing frustration or dissatisfaction. I became aware of this only when I noticed the tension in my face, especially my jaw. As I check in on my muscle tension throughout the day, my jaw is the most tense — a silent witness to years of holding back.

Recognizing this tension led me to a new commitment: I want to speak my mind more freely but naturally. As a professionally trained listener, talking isn’t always second nature. My attention often shifts to others, picking up on the slightest cues in their…

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Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age

Published in Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age

“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” (Frank Lloyd Wright) Non-fiction pieces, personal essays and occasional poems that explore how we feel about how we age and offer tips for getting the most out of life.

Brenda H.
Brenda H.

Written by Brenda H.

A not-yet-60-year-old Texas transplant is making retirement plans for anywhere else but here. Educated by School of Hard Knocks. Today is Once in a Lifetime.

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