So many times as we age, we become unmoored. If we defined ourselves by certain traits or characteristics — we can lose great huge pieces of who we were/are. Who are we if we are no longer a nurse? Who are we if we no longer have a calendar full of events? Who are we if we lack a to-do list? Who are we if our bodies change with Time?
Are we still Relevant?
In the past few months, I have been given many gifts: Freedom, loss of anxiety/stress, and peace. Retirement is like that. But I find myself pondering the most precious gift I received of late. It was bestowed upon me by my daughters and sons-in-law: The gift Of Relevance.
In other societies and days gone by — age was associated with wisdom, not decay. Elders were held in high esteem and they were very Relevant to their communities. They were, in fact, Vital.
How do we remain Relevant in These Days? These Days of COVID, These Days of limited social interactions, These Days of economic hardship?
We start by recognizing that it is a function of Ego — this desire to be Relevant. Ego is always at the root of our attachment to All. The. Things. in our lives. Relevance is no different. Ego strains to be recognized and heard. And the more we cling and grasp at Relevance — like any expectation — the more it eludes us.
What we fail to understand is the most direct path to being Relevant in this Life is Love. When we are on Love’s Path, we let go of Ego. The “I” of Id vanishes. Not our souls. Not our true selves. Not our little piece of The Divine.
My relationship with my family is brewed with Love, not Ego. Long ago I sought to mother myself right out of The Job. I gave my children roots and wings. I soared with them as long as I could and then I celebrated as they climbed higher into their own stratosphere on their own winds of change with their own wings.
I let go of having any Relevance in their flight.
And as with All. The. Things. we release — we find ourselves blessed with something even more beautiful. Because when I let go of my relationship as ‘Mother’ of my daughters — I made room for us to develop a relationship as ‘Friends’.
We can grasp and cling to something — anything — everything — as we attempt to remain the center of The Universe. Ego can drive us to the brink of madness if we are not recognized as pertinent. We can watch ourselves become invisible one small chunk at a time. Until we are unrecognizable — even to ourselves. Or we can take Ego out of the mix. It’s easier to be seen for all the gifts we carry; it’s easier to be Relevant when we walk with Love.