ALZHEIMER’S
The Day-In, Day-Out Fatigue of Loving Someone With Alzheimer’s
There are no shortcuts or easy remedies…just honesty
At 11 P.M. last night, my sister called.
“I have a sandwich that is excellent, but I can’t finish it. Can you come over?”
This was better than many of our conversations, but I said what I often say:
“Very sweet of you. The problem is that I am in Boston, and you are in Los Angeles, so I can’t come over.”
Now, it’s quiet on the phone, which means my sister is thinking. Then I hear,
“That’s OK. I’ll have Donna (her care provider) come bring it over.”
I explain that Donna can’t do that because she is also in Los Angeles, and the distance is “six hours by plane.”
That’s when I hear,
“Donna, are you going to be in Boston tomorrow?”
Donna lovingly responds, “No, sweetie. I’m staying here to be with you.”
On one level, one might say, “So there’s a little confusion. Your sister doesn’t get space and time anymore,” and they’d be right. But the deeply painful part is that she was the pioneer of our family, leading the way with smarts, guts, and confidence that we…
