MY OTHER SISTER

The One Who’s Forgotten

The burden is heavy, and the recognition is slim

Jill Ebstein
Crow’s Feet
Published in
5 min readJun 12, 2024

--

Somber woman standing on dirt road
Unsplash+
In collaboration with Ave Calvar

We often don’t sufficiently consider the load our loved ones carry when they are shouldering the burden of other ailing family members. It takes a toll on them, and they put their own health at risk. At least for me, I’ve frequently written about my sister with Alzheimer’s, where every day provides a new grim reality of the disease’s cruelty.

I have another sister, though, and she needs my attention, too. My other sister, whom I call “The one who’s forgotten,” is not only there for my sister with Alzheimer’s who lives a few miles away, but is also managing the descent of her husband into the dark tunnel of Alzheimer’s, as well. If managing one family member with Alzheimer’s is hard, managing two is more than double hard. Patience, perspective, and hope for a better day fly out the window.

By writing this, I remind myself and my other siblings that we need to expand our attention. My “forgotten” sister, who shall not be named and who doesn’t want the praise, is in so many ways our hero. She is at the helm of sibling care, which means that, on any given day, some not-great random moments infiltrate. These might include:

  • Fielding calls from my sister’s caregivers who have concerns, questions, or…

--

--

Jill Ebstein
Crow’s Feet

I’m about dogs, our lovable and peculiar families, business, and writing in a wide lane, including fiction. I’m a positivity washer too. www.jillebstein.com