The Reluctant Homeowner
Why Can’t I Live in a Nice House Without Responsibility?
“This problem is the result of temperature changes and the soil you have here,” he said, pointing at the gap that had opened between the house and the porch, “I’d be willing to bet your foundation issues are extensive.” Extensive is contractor-speak for expensive.
Silly us, carelessly leaving our house outdoors. But ultimately this Pangea-like drifting was caused by trying to be something we are not — dedicated homeowners. Managing a house is an endeavor many people navigate happily and well. We are not those people.
We did it because our elders told us to. “It’s a great investment,” they said. “You can’t be good parents without it,” they said. “Misery loves company and you must join us,” they implied. And how do you argue with people called The Greatest Generation?
They failed to tell us a home needs constant attention and handyman skills — not our strong suits — so this had disaster written on it from the start. Between the two of us we can barely figure out which end of a paintbrush to hold.
“Not handy” is probably the kindest way to describe us. “So hire helpers,” we were advised and I’d be hard pressed to choose my fave. There was the guy who came to fix the ceiling and left a big drippy mess. “Just…
