Member-only story
The Surprising Joy of Being an Older Mother
Waiting until my 40s to have children gave me the confidence to parent on my own terms
When I was in my 20s, I lived as if kids were part of some distant future I might never quite reach. My husband and I spent those years partying with friends and enjoying a carefree existence. Nights out that turned into mornings, spontaneous surfing trips, moving abroad — an unshakeable sense of freedom defined that chapter of our lives. At the same time, many of my friends were starting families, and while I celebrated their milestones, I couldn’t imagine trading my lifestyle for theirs, just yet.
My 30s were equally fulfilling, albeit in a different way. We got married, travelled to some breathtaking locations, and I challenged myself physically and mentally. I ran half-marathons, cycled through India, and climbed the career ladder. Life felt exciting and adventurous, but in the back of my mind, I always knew that I wanted kids someday. As friends continued to expand their families, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing mixed with the joy I felt for them. That “someday” seemed to linger just out of reach as the years slipped by.
By my late 30s, the question I had pushed aside became unavoidable. My husband’s therapist gently nudged us towards the realisation that if we…
