“The Talk” With an Aging Athlete
It’s time.
Sit down, my friend. Stretch a little and listen.
It’s time for that little talk that has to be delivered to all the “once-young” guys, lest they burn out, hurt themselves seriously, or just fade away.
It’s the same talk that the Coach had with Billy, and Billy imparted the same wisdom to me. Yes, this is about participation in our noontime soccer game, but the lessons extend well beyond that particular activity. This is a guide for life.
For some time, you’ve been complaining of nagging injuries that just won’t allow you to enjoy playing the way you would like. We’ve all noticed that your zest for the game has waned.
You have attained the age where the question is no longer, “When will it heal?” No, the current question is shorter and more to the point. The question is, “Will it heal?”
You have entered a new phase, crossed a threshold, come of age. You face the dilemma of the aging athlete.
As the great coach, G. B. Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we become old. We become old because we stop playing.” But to play, you must be healthy, and in the past, a big part of staying healthy was the exercise you got while playing.
The bane of all aging athletes is nagging injuries that will just not go away.
But fear of a non-athletic existence urges them to continue, regardless. A no-longer-playing friend once told me, “I really don’t miss the pain.” He currently weighs 524 pounds.
Completely eliminating the pain associated with strenuous activity is not recommended. But there are some steps you can take to prevent the little injuries from becoming debilitating.
Here are the rules Billy related to me. They have allowed me to continue my decline with some small measure of grace even as I continue to play.
I suggest you heed them well.
- Warm-up and stretch! No matter how late you show up to play, no goals by your opponents really count if you are still stretching or warming up.
- Change your style. Speed and skill are out. Old age and treachery are in. If you are not smart and experienced enough to compete with the young pups on some basis other than athleticism, stop reading this and go have a donut.
- Only think about sprinting three times in any match. Completely ignore the urge two of those times. For that third urge you just can’t ignore, just comment about how you could have caught that person if you really wanted to.
- Always arrange to be on the weaker team. Then you won’t feel guilty when you lose. And remember that you win every time you leave the field under your own power.
- Touch the ball as little as possible. Yes, I realize that for most of us at noontime, two touches are one more than usual since the first one is so bad that the ball is no longer in our possession, but give it a try. The important point is that you get rid of the ball before you get whacked. Possessing the ball only makes you a target.
- Check your ego at the sideline. Smile when the young guys get lucky and take advantage of your diminished condition. Revel in the knowledge that their time is coming.
- Laugh at yourself. At some point, you will attempt something you once did with ease, but now find impossible. Laugh along with the younger guys at the comic relief as you fail and fall.
I think that’s all. Check with Coach and Billy to see if I missed anything.
