This week, we’re talking quality of life.
Our Stories
Quality of life seemed to be on the minds of several Crow’s Feet writers this week.
expressed it in sartorial terms in her essay, “She Let Herself Go.”
When Catherine owned a design firm, she “dressed for success,” well aware of the power of clothes and corporate expectations. But the perfectly matched outfit and makeup are no longer a priority.
Catherine writes,
“Now, in retirement, I’m most often in shorts and a T-shirt. Which T-shirt depends on whether I’m grocery shopping, working in the garden, or painting in my studio. My fingernails by day’s end tell the story.”
She recalls the disdain toward women who had given up dressing fashionably “…as if they had broken some sacred rule of femininity. I suppose I’ve become one of them: a woman who chooses comfort over performance.”
is a long-time advocate of comfort as a marker of his life’s condition.
“Being comfortable has always been important to me, but even more so as I age,”
In his essay, “Comfort Over Style,” he recalls being persuaded to buy uncomfortable shoes.
If they were “pinchy,” the salesman would explain, “That’s normal, they’ll break in after a few days.”
And now?
I wear almost nothing but athletic shoes. As a pastor, If I’m asked to perform a wedding or preside over a funeral, I’ll don my cowboy boots. They’re over 20 years old, bulge in all the right places, and still pass muster with a fresh coat of polish.
Don Akchin’s poignant yet non-nonsense essay, “Living Well with Dementia,” underscores how cognitive decline, such as Alzheimer’s Disease, need not encroach on one’s quality of life.
While “living well” may be a subjective interpretation, Akchin writes:
… the important point is a person diagnosed with dementia doesn’t cease to be who they are — not immediately, at least. And attentive, supportive caregiving can allow a person with dementia to live a nearly normal life for years.
And that becomes the challenge — summoning the support, patience, and compassion to ensure that life for a person with Alzheimer’s or other cognitive decline has the regular, consistent rhythm that we with “normal” lives enjoy.
examines emotional well-being as another marker of a good quality of life. His essay Not Quite Old, looks at the impact of growing isolation occasioned by the loss of family and friends.
His mother talked about being a survivor.
Now at 68, I understand what she meant on a deeper level. Since January of last year, I’ve lost two of my closest friends — one my age, another just shy of 60. Those losses, coming after my mother’s death in early 2024, have taught me about the terrain of late middle age, or early “seniorhood,” or whatever one calls life in this strange period, when I’m not quite old, but getting there.
The upshot? Leblang writes,
Today, I’m sitting with layers of loss, missing my mother and our lifelong connection, my bond with friends now gone, and the preciousness of life, which I no longer take for granted.
On a more upbeat note, read The Late Bloomer’s Revolution by a new contributor to Crow’s Feet: Live As We Age, .
Unhappy in a stifling marriage, she surprised her family and friends by initiating a divorce after 30 years of marriage. She was 64.
Every friend I told begged me to reconsider. Stay. Work it out. Think of the finances. Think of starting over at your age.
Instead, Levonne dove into single life like an “anthropologist studying a new culture.” One aspect of the new culture was online dating, an investigation she was about to end when…
Well, the rest is Levonne’s story to tell, but I’ll say this: it has a happy ending.
Crow’s Feet Podcast
Speaking of late-in-life divorce, it’s the topic of the latest episode of the Crow’s Feet Podcast, Split Decision, Part I.
The divorce rate among older adults has climbed rapidly in the decades since 1990 as social stigma recedes, women have greater financial independence, and look forward to living longer, healthier lives.
Host talks with relationship therapist and author Michele Weiner-Davis about the issues leading to “gray divorce” and the steps couples can take to strengthen their relationships.
The second episode of this two-part series will drop on September 10.
Enjoy reading more new stories on Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age. You can also hear from some new writers on our Substack.
Until next week,
Jane Trombley, Contributing Editor
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age is a nonprofit, 501(c)3 charitable organization that produces this publication and a bi-weekly podcast.
If you find essays and interviews on Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age that change your views on aging or help you navigate the aging process, please consider making a donation to our work here. We’re all volunteers, and your support helps us reach even more people with our meaningful discussions about aging.
Please forward this newsletter to a friend.
If you read this newsletter and you’re not a subscriber, you can subscribe here (free!) to get the weekly newsletter in your inbox.
