Tinnitus & Inner Peace
Two concepts that are uneasy bedfellows.
I have mentioned before that my days begin with meditation and spiritual journalling, where I write down the thoughts that fill me. Or, to put it another way, try to capture an inflow of light that distills into words, phrases, and even poetry on my blank pages.
Whatever the truth behind my writing is, yesterday I could not settle as we had some distress in the house, and either as a result, or serendipity, my long-standing tinnitus became even louder and impossible to ignore.
So instead of a flowing page or two, my inspirer said …
“Too much going on to settle, too much noise to listen to the silence. The silence that has gold filigree around its edges, light that shimmers at its core, and a spiral of love that links your heart with mine and mine with Creation.”
So, I put down my tablet and got on with my day. Today, when I entered the silence of meditation, the tinnitus and indeed the pressure that comes with it was overwhelming.
But, as we always start our meditations with an “aum,” I consciously imagined my tinnitus as following the “aum” and radiating out into space.
This had an immediate and palpable impact of reducing my tinnitus as if in stages as the spiral of my imagination rose.
Afterward, when I sat to write, my inspirer explained that my tinnitus has actually been helpful in ways I would not have thought of.
“It does have the benefit, over time, of training your mind to instinctively divert your thoughts away from negative spirals of thought to find some inner space where you can exert some control.
By doing this, you remove the cloak of victimization and metaphorically place your cloak over the puddle in front of you, so you can move forward and manage the difficulty as you do.”
Now I know so many people have tinnitus, and it can become even more common in our older years, although many young people are suffering too.
My tinnitus began when I was just thirty and was the result of a serious infection that required surgery to plug up the oval window a year later, too late to save the hearing in one ear.
As I had very young children and a full-time job, it was a case of managing it, and I do this largely by ignoring it.
The practice of meditation though has been a challenge because in silence it can become magnified and magnetic.
However, my inspirer pointed out another unexpected benefit, which is my instinct to divert my consciousness away from anything that is repetitive and therefore damaging, by virtue of its repetitiveness, whether that be tinnitus or negative spirals of thinking that go nowhere.
“This is the kind of discipline that the spiritual path requires. Not so much that you cannot succeed without it, but that it makes the journey so much easier.
To be able to turn your mind away from thoughts that victimize you. Yes, I know what I have just said, and I mean what I say. Often the internal dialogues are self-defeating, and the personality can feel victimized by their repetition.
It is as if you are stuck in a dodge-em car being buffeted by ‘and there’s another thing …’ over and over again.
It is not until the force of repetition ceases that the car, which is your personality, knows which way it is facing and can see which is the right way ahead.”
I know that pursuing a spiritual path is not for everyone, but as we get older, the paths we tread are different from those we trod in our youth and even middle age.
The demands on us are different, maybe we are struggling with the loss of loved ones, or our own robust health, or professional status and identity.
Whatever our backgrounds, I suspect most of us hope to be treading a path to inner peace, or at least stumbling ungracefully towards it as we age.
Most of us will have encountered deep despair at some point, I know I have, and I found his final paragraph comforting, so I include it here. It’s an acknowledgment that it’s all our struggles that make us human and if we can achieve some balance, then that opens the door to unconditional love, and that brings the peace we all desire.
“I hardly need to say this to you, you recognize what I am saying, and indeed the dark night of the soul is a well-worn phrase because most people do too.
The ones who never feel internally victimized often are the ones who harm others, and so, as with all things, a balance is ideal.
The ability to turn your thoughts away is a discipline, but the inability to do so is human. That is why love is the answer because love knows how to cease the spiral and allow peace to calm the waters.
Then the fish can jump, and the oxygen can flow once more into the lungs of life.”
© ZD Finn 2023
Finn runs a healing and meditation practice in London, publishes her own inspired journals, and offers mentoring to those seeking to strengthen their own soul connection.
Q&A If you have any questions on this, or anything else I have written, please comment or email me via zdfinn.com and I will do my best to answer, either from the Teachings I have studied or inspirationally.
