Why I Love Living in Africa: You Can Grieve for as Long as You Need To
Talking about death is not taboo here — it’s part of life
African cultures honor their ancestors. There’s no fear they’ve lost a loved one forever — all remain alive in their hearts and minds. Africans don’t reject you for expressing your sorrow and grief — they embrace you, literally, and want you to know they care.
This custom is alive and well in South Africa, irrespective of your background.
I guess that’s why I was comfortable telling people I hardly knew of my husband’s passing in January this year.
Since I don’t have any family in South Africa and live alone in a rural area too remote for friends to visit, this tradition allowed me to express my grief to anyone. I felt no shame in sharing — their reactions comforted me when raw emotions threatened to overwhelm me.
My soulmate and I had been together for close to 40 years. Although I’d given him permission to leave and told him I’d be okay, his passing left an unbearable emptiness. Though grateful for the many virtual hugs sent my way, I craved the touch of an in-person hug; hankered for social connection — a hunger the internet could never satisfy.