Yes, I Know Giving Christmas Gifts is Not Always Considered PC But I Love Doing It!!
A month or so ago, my daughter-in-law wrote a very nice text to the family about how we should cease giving gifts on Christmas because we all have enough warmth and love, and food in our lives. We have our health (for the most part) and we have each other. Instead, she wrote, we should give to charities or other good causes. I appreciate the thought — it’s both rational and kind-hearted. Still, I wrote back and said, “It’s a very good idea for charities and nonprofits at this time of year. I already do a lot of that. But I’m not going to stop giving presents to family and friends.”
The truth is I just love giving presents: I enjoy the entire process — picking them out, wrapping them up, and giving them to those I care about. Admittingly, I have a small family — not six to eight brothers and sisters, 23 nephews and nieces, 44 great-nieces and nephews, plus 16 grandchildren. No, I don’t have to put a huge amount of time or energy, or money into gift-giving.
But I treasure the limited experiences I have. I love thinking about what my son or my grandson or my sister-in-law might like. I love the ideation that goes into picking out the particular something for that particular person at a store or in a catalogue. As I bring it home or it arrives in the mail and I wrap it up, I’m imagining the pleasure it will bring. Perhaps it is more the imaginative experience than the actual experience I cherish. After all, on Christmas morning my grandson receives so many gifts, mine are quickly laid in the corner, as he unwraps a much grander present. That doesn’t matter. I’ve already had my kicks from the anticipation of his pleasure.
I honestly believe that through this little gift-wrapped package tied with a bow, we’re attempting to communicate our affection and love. It doesn’t matter how large or small the gift is — an expensive bottle of perfume or a jar of homemade jam; a diamond bracelet or a box of cookies; tickets for a trip to Hawaii or tickets to the local movie theater — in each case we’re taking the time and energy and effort to say we care. We’re transforming the metaphysical into the physical.
I admit Christmas mornings often seem a bit obscene — over-the-top scenes of dozens of boxes and wrappings strewn around the Christmas tree as people eagerly consume gift after gift. This begs the question — does the physical translate into the metaphysical? Do we actually experience the love behind what we give and are given?
It also makes me wonder if the extravagance of Christmas might stem from the fact that we often don’t take enough time during the rest of the year to express our caring for family and friends. We’re all so busy doing all the other things we do in our lives that we neglect to say or show how much we care. So suddenly as the Holiday Season looms ahead, all this feeling wells up inside and we desperately want to make up for what may have been lacking during other seasons. Also, sadly, during the holidays we recall those who are no longer with us and to whom we wish we could still show our caring.
I know a lot of people reading this essay strenuously disagree. They think Christmas is a commercial boondoggle conceived by the stores/Amazon to lure people into overspending. The merchants force-feed our emotions with nostalgic Christmas tunes so everyone guiltily shells out more than they can afford for things no one really wants or needs. All this is true, too, I don’t deny it. My daughter-in-law is right, we probably should funnel our funds to those in need and not to those who already have enough.
And yet…and yet…I’m not going to stop giving presents to family and friends. My cookies are baked, and my presents are wrapped. And I look forward to the smiles they produce. Then I’ll be glad Christmas is over for a year.
