13 GOING ON 50 GOING ON 13
You’re Fifty-Five and You Look Six Months Pregnant. Ozempic®, Anyone?
Will the pharmaceutical industry save middle-aged women from faux pregnancy bellies?
Welcome to middle age. We made it! That time in a woman’s life when they become invisible. I mean, we. Yay! No, really. Yay.
Now, when my dog wakes me at 3:00 a.m. to pee, and I am sleepwalking through the park, and it suddenly occurs to me I might have forgotten to put my pants on, it no longer matters. I’m invisible.
Ta-da!
Ladies and women! Middle age is all it’s cracked up to be. Your menstrual journey is finally over! Hopefully.
Your erratic, hormonal, estrogen-leaking moods are leveling out because the anti-anxiety drugs have finally synched with your amygdala. Hallelujah!
It’s like the DJ’s finally got the music flowing. With these smooth beats, you’re gonna dance all night.
Might as well. You’re profusely sweating anyway.
You're done with worrying about getting pregnant — even if you do still need to worry about STDs. Gonorrhea is back so m’ladies, you’re not totally home-free.
