Can You Believe This Is My Daughter
Because I don’t. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how I managed to help bring this child into the world.
And I use the word child loosely. She’s not a child anymore. My daughter is nearing the age I can call her a young woman.
You know what’s crazy, when my daughter was born, I was going through the worst part of my life. I was still in high school before eventually dropping out, I was broke and doing dumb shit just to try to make rent, her mother and I hated each other, and I thought about how terrible of a parent I must be to bring my daughter into the world under those horrible circumstances.
And as hard as it is to admit right now, at the time I thought about how much of a mistake it was to have a baby as a teenager.
But look at her now. Look at this kid. 14 years old, happy, smart as hell, funny, and more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. She’s all of this despite all the madness she’s witnessed.
This is love right here. Real love. She showed me what that word really means. She taught me how to love unconditionally. She would jump into my arms when I picked her up from kindergarten regardless of if I was able to buy her a birthday gift that year. She held on to my legs and cried every time I left the house whether or not she got a present on Christmas.
Now that I can get her whatever she wants, all she still really wants is for me to be there with her everyday. That, and the pink Puma’s and a pair of all blue huarache’s LOL.
And I’m OK with that. She’s earned it, and a lot more.
To all the fathers out there, young fathers who don’t know what they hell you’re doing, just keep doing it. Keep struggling, keep being scared, keep fumbling those diapers and saying the wrong things and forgetting to pack their lunch. As long as you’re there, physically in their lives, it makes a world of difference.
This is love…
Parenting is such a journey. And what sucks is that you’re never really prepared. You can only do your best and hope love wins.
Follow me on Medium Kern Carter
Read THOUGHTS OF A FRACTURED SOUL here, a story every young parent should experience.
