Confessions of a Frustrated Graduate
Harsh realities that society doesn’t talk about
In 2017, I finally achieved a huge milestone; I graduated from the University of Hertfordshire with a BSc in Computer Science. I did not go to the main campus, however. Rather, I finished online.
I was so excited and looked forward to the next chapter of my life. The following year, I applied for the National Youth Service Corps in Nigeria, also known as NYSC. I was told by the staff that although online students are exempted from serving, there were no provisions for exemption letters or certificates.
I was so gutted by this news. Regardless, I kept on applying to various jobs, both in Nigeria and abroad, in the hopes of getting something. Mostly rejections so far. I tried changing my CV. Same results. I broke down in tears and had a mental breakdown for years.
Remember that story I told about my deepest regret?
This story is connected to it. It was one of the catalysts to my eventual downward spiral. I am trying not to give up, but nothing seems to work.
I am trying to learn Tech and other important skills, but at the same time, I get angry and frustrated with the world. How did things get this way? I would ask. I am trying not to sink into depression again.
I guess I am that impatient and want things to happen quickly due to the pressure I had to deal with growing up. People often compared me unfairly to other kids my age or even younger than me, or worse, my sisters. You all know how that turned out.
I often say that writing is all that I have, but even that does not seem to be working. No. Who would want to listen to a Nigerian woman talk about her pains and frustrations? Who cares?
That was what I thought until I saw a comment a couple of days ago that made me smile. The comment read: “Dami, I am so happy to see you online. I hope you have a great day and that one day you will become successful.”
That made me emotional and thrilled. That motivates me to keep pushing even though I want to quit. I often say that the world does not need someone like me since there are many other talented individuals. If I quit, I will disappoint so many people out there but most importantly myself. There is room for me. There is room for everyone.
