Fighting With Myself

Who else feels like this?

Who else feels like you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing? Like all these ideas are crammed in your brain and you can’t figure out which path to follow.

I have to fight with myself on a daily basis to stay focused. I tell myself to stick to the path. “You’re growing, Kern. Things are moving forward. You can see the progress.”

Then my mind fights back, tells me to turn this way. Tells me there’s another path with more ideas that need chasing. It says I’m spending too much time on this one dream.

Sometimes I listen. Sometimes I veer off a little bit, get these crazy notions that there’s something else for me. Some other project. Some other passion.

I usually don’t get too far before stopping myself, though. Maybe in the past, my mind would lead me off track. But I’m better now. I’m stronger now. I’m more dialed in to who I am and what I want to do more than ever.

Not even my own mind can stop me.

I’m actually getting closer to having my mind completely on my side. It doesn’t waiver like this too often anymore. It doesn’t create these roadblocks, tell me lies, try to convince me of things I know aren’t true.

My mind is almost my own. I’ve made it show me the way, tap into similar energies and use those to guide my path. Nothing can stop me now, not even myself.

The fight continues and I’m not sure it will ever be over. But for now, now I’m winning.

“The mind is it’s own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” John Milton.

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