Just Like That, My Biggest Contract Is Gone
Would you believe me if I said I asked for it?
In my affirmations the last six months or so, I’ve repeated time after time that “I’m ready.” Whether I was laying down or sitting down or on my knees, I recited these words at some point during my meditations or prayers.
The universe has a funny way of responding sometimes.
Last week I went to pick up a check from my biggest contract. Biggest meaning it accounts for the most significant portion of my income. Earlier in the day, I got an email from my point of contact asking me to stop by her office before I leave.
By now you all know I work remotely, so her asking to see me wasn’t really an odd request seeing that I don’t really get to communicate with anyone except over email. But when we finally connected in the hallway and she ushered me to the president’s office, I knew something was up.
They let me go. There were some sympathies and what not (you get close to people working in startups, even when you’re not physically around all the time), but at the end of it all I was no longer writing for that company. Shock was probably my first internal reaction, then a bit of anger, but I left without questioning the decision.
My fellow freelancers know what it feels like to lose that crucial contract. Most 9–5 workers would probably be feeling at least a bit of fear at having lost a job. For me, once I let the dust settle, my genuine emotion was excitement.
I had been planning for this moment. Not consciously, of course, but the universe had been preparing me for this moment since I started affirming that “I’m ready.” The pieces falling into place prior to this moment were all done precisely for this moment.
The abruptness of my contract ending was the final piece to the puzzle. For the things I want to do, for all that I expect of myself, there is no easing into it. It’s either I jumped feet first without a net, or I forget all about my ambitions and figure out another path.
The universe forced me to jump. It’s telling me right now to ignore my anxiety, put away my fear, and brush away any thoughts standing in my way of taking this next step. The universe has answered me loudly, and is letting me know YES YOU ARE READY.
So as I write this, am I at all concerned about the financial loss?
Of course.
Am I worried about possibly not meeting my expectations?
I guess so.
Do I know exactly what I’m doing step for step?
Not a chance.
But I trust in myself, I trust my instincts, and I believe to the core of my soul in every sign I’ve been given.
In time, it will all make sense…
The world always makes sense as long as you’re paying attention.
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