Tyrone 1997 Vs 2021

The Advice I Wish I Had Fourteen Years Ago

Erykah Badu’s Tyrone song came out in nineteen ninety-seven on her “Live” album. It felt like my mother’s anthem how she would belt out the chorus while doing her makeup. She sang to the vanity mirror as if she was performing to my stepfather. She would keep the song on repeat until she memorized the lyrics while subliminally letting me know the emotions she was feeling in the present.

The iconic song was an anthem for women who felt unappreciated and mistreated by their partners. These acts were measured by the time and amount of money their partner spent on them. Not being able to meet Badu’s expectations, she breaks up with her boyfriend, suggesting he be with his friends who keep most of his time, specifically “Tyrone.” Badu complains that there isn’t a balance in their relationship and compares the amount of sex her boyfriend asks for versus the money he gives her.

On Ty’s version, I get the advice I wish I had before meeting my older daughter’s mother. Only it was about fourteen years too late. The song’s sped-up, uptempo beat creates the perfect clapback ambience, making it the ideal response to Badu’s down temp tranquillizing original. It was the response that I had been waiting for. Like mother, I would belt out the chorus, but in the shower and also like mother, I would perform as if my ex was right in front of me using Ty Dolla Signs words as if there were my own.

It felt good no longer being alone in the struggle of co-parenting and resentment from my past decisions. I was surprised to know that someone else experienced the same level of toxicity that I had. This song felt like a revelation from the scriptures. It channelled real emotions that I was feeling, and the storytelling reminded me of my own.

It is a story about a man who would have to navigate ending a relationship with someone with whom he has a child and the obstacles ahead.

Ty was excellent at broaching the consequences of dragging on a toxic relationship by providing examples of stalking and mingling in new connections resulting from stringing ex-girlfriends along. It was like he was talking to me about my past baby mama drama. He continues to highlight potential threats that progress in toxic relationships using examples of generational curses that we continue from our parents and the patterns relationally between mothers and their daughters.

Then he warns men of the backlash of not being upfront about our intentions to pursue women by providing the consequence of spitting game and repercussions of unmet expectations. Triggered by observing his friend’s toxic relationship, Ty shares his past experiences with women who have the same habits as his friend’s girlfriend. While projecting his insecurities in the form of insults and shade at his friend’s girlfriend, Ty gives us a list of reasons to end the relationship and move on.

Big Sean ventilates examples of how vindictive people can be in a custody battle where the rules are biased, favour mothers and could lead to prison. He continues to put forward instances of resentment that have built up due to not getting out of the relationship sooner, such as missed opportunities, wasted time and money. Sean elaborates about the change in the relationship’s dynamic when a woman becomes less of a partner and more of a dictator. He compares it to being in a relationship with his mother and the disgusts that follow.

Although the song is fourteen years late in advising me what type of women to avoid, living through my own experiences has allowed me to see my faults. I can analyze these songs differently. I can see the pain the artist is in. I understand what they are trying to articulate. All while creating something that we all can bop to, which in itself is a difficult task.

I can clarify my children between misogyny and patriarchy without being that annoying dad trying to ban everything with a dope beat. Referencing my experiences compared to the artist makes me more relevant when encouraging them to make better decisions based on rationale and not on emotion because hurt people hurt people.

The cycle can stop when you establish healthy boundaries and hold people accountable.

Then it becomes easier to be more secure with yourself.