Writing is Draining
The steps between an end and another beginning
Even though I like to think otherwise, my writing is like a familiar deck of cards. Go through it once, and you’re back with the ace of clubs. Writing similar pieces, before you grow into or happen upon another one. Drop a few cards and add others of a different color, maybe a new texture.
The lack of control is the first thing that unexpectedly hit me in this creative journey. I often don’t know what I’m going to do next, which article is ready to come out, and whether I’ll resort to comfort genres to escape.
I’ve learned the hard way, that when you’re finding your feet as an artist, it’s best to not force it, and let the good ideas and new challenges find you. Instead, focus on your process. Study how you feel after losses, and what shadows different pieces imprint on your mind. There’s a lot to figure out.
Self-doubt comes with the territory and for me, it’s a constant. I’m facing it right now. Every time I look up from the keyboard, I wonder if I have anything worthwhile to say. I take a break and come back to it. I type again.
I’m not perfect, I am far from it. My anxious mind has a really hard time letting things go, most of the time. But I have to persuade it, put myself in a state of flow where I am kind to myself, and…
