Your Only Competition Is You
How To Deal With Jealousy
Everyone has been jealous of someone, whether they want to admit it or not. My experiences with jealousy have been out of frustration and entitlement. I saw other’s accomplishments and wished it was me in their place instead, not understanding the work, discipline or sacrifices needed to get where they were.
At first, my jealousy served as a motivator because I was constantly comparing myself to other creatives, which is a terrible idea because we all have different journeys. Some people receive validation for their progress earlier than others. As I started receiving validation for my work, I realized the people I was jealous of had merely fallen into their purpose earlier than me. Instead of focusing on my weakness, I leaned into my strengths. I focused on mastering what I was good at and saw my opportunities as preparation for the journey ahead.
I didn’t know what it took to achieve those accomplishments. I thought people just got lucky, and if I hung out with them, it would eventually expedite the process for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to work hard; I didn’t want to start over. I felt too much time had passed and I was looking for a shortcut. It wasn’t until I connected with one of my mentors and learned about her journey.
After she told me about all of her failures and expressed how nothing happens overnight, that’s when I realized there are no shortcuts on the road to success. I saw the people I was jealous of differently when I understood what it took to get where they were. That’s when my jealousy faded and when I realized that I had to work harder.
It took my mentor a decade to get where she is today, and when I look at the journey of Tyler Perry and Kenya Barris, I learned that it’s never too late to start over. There are no deadlines for what God has in store for us, and nothing that God has for us can be taken away. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. All the skills that we learn before fulfilling our purpose are part of the preparation of our journey. Understanding this is how I deal with jealousy. I look at my peers’ achievements as what is rightfully theirs and remind myself of that whenever I start feeling some type of way.
The people I was once competing with became my allies when learning from their mistakes. I saw them sharing their experiences with me as a way to minimize my mistakes and prepare me for the opportunities ahead. I saw anything that I wasn’t achieving now to prepare for when I was ready to achieve those goals.
You can’t manage something big unless you start small. I got over my jealousy by stepping my game up and focusing on getting better every day. I started investing in myself by researching. It consisted of reading, watching videos or asking people who had found success questions. This lead to my relationships with my mentors.
Everyone wants success, but no one wants to deal with the issues that success brings. Like happiness, success is a state of mind. You can find success in your growth both professionally and personally. Personal development is the most important, but it doesn’t get as much praise as professional growth because of what professional growth brings, e.g. money, fame, real estate.
The truth is everyone has the capability of achieving the same goals. We limit ourselves after we fail because we don’t look at those experiences as lessons. Our jealous moments are usually a result of stagnation, procrastination or lack of effort.
When you start putting in the work, there are many days of doubting and criticizing yourself. The obstacles you face can make or break you. How you handle them determines how long you last. The road to success is all about endurance. Whoever works the hardest and stays the most discipline reaps the rewards.
