The tail of Purrspero and the great big storm

Long before the days when Purrspero The Mighty lent his magical strength to the lords and ladies of the KittyVerse, he was a sorcerer who had not yet learnt the danger of hubris. In his youth he studied at the side of the great Furlin, but a quest for power of his own drove him to set his claws on the citizens of Kittenheim, who soon called him Sire. But time and the whims of politics worked their toll. Exiled from Kittenheim by the nefarious Doc Purr, he and his young daughter, Tabby, found refuge on a small island.

Poor Tabby, who had loved little more than her books, was now adrift with nothing but trees to gaze on and grass to chew.
“Oh, Father,” she moaned. “How will we survive alone on this island?”
“I don’t think we’re alone…” he warned. For in the shadows of the trees he saw four glowing eyes, and heard wild, unhinged laughter.

The creature slunk forward, pressing daintily against the light as if passing through cobwebs. The movement sent its colourful shag shaking, and the great piercing horns on its head danced menacingly towards them.

“This is my island!” it yowled.
“And who are you, friend?” Purrspero asked.
“You can call me Lion Dance Cat, though my mother called me monster.”
“Monster,” Tabby said, “let us live with you here on the island, please!”
“You can stay with me,” Lion Dance Cat meowed with a lopsided grin. “…but the wizard goes!”
“The wizard most certainly does not,” Purrspero snapped. “Nor could he if he wanted to,” he muttered to himself. But of course the other two could hear him, because cats have very sensitive ears, and Lion Dance Cat snickered at Purrspero’s expense.

Lion Dance Cat sprung forward, yowling, but Purrspero summoned his magic strength and bade the spirit of the island protect him. There was a crash, a groan, and a great tree split in twain. From the gap flew a spirit, whose wings were a thousand colours and caught the light like diamonds. The spirit winked, and produced a ball of yarn.

“Go get it!” Flutterbee yelled, and Lion Dance Cat ran after the yarn, immediately getting tangled in the soft threads.
“Meow?” Lion Dance Cat gave everyone a sad look from inside the tangle, and Purrspero and Tabby laughed at the sad sight.

Many years passed on the island. Tabby longed to see another cat, for she had been so young when they left she barely remembered a face other than her father’s. Purrspero got used to having a servant, and kept putting off an agreement to free Flutterbee because he wanted more head scritches. And Lion Dance Cat grew angrier and angrier at the strangers who had taken over his island.

And then, one day, Purrspero summoned a great big storm.

Tabby couldn’t believe how the tempest raged. “Purrspero!” she yelled. “You’re going to wreck that ship.”
“That’s the idea,” Purrspero said, and Flutterbee batted its wings to make the air grow full of rage.

The ship in question was a small dingy bearing the flag of Doc Purr. It came to shore in several pieces, and the cats aboard clung to the wood and howled at the indignity of getting wet. Only the bravest cats will go on ships, and Ship Cat was one such — but Ship Cat had gotten into the milk and was no help to anyone, and we don’t have time to tell a two hour play, so we cut that subplot.

On board the ship was Victoire, doing a victory tour after his impressive win on the pitch earlier that week. Doc Purr was supposed to be with him, but at the last second he made a startling discovery about the nature of the CryptoKitty genome, and chose to remain in his lab muttering something about limited edition Cattributes.

When Victoire opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Tabby staring down at him.

“Oh brave new world, that has such cathletes in it,” she purred. “I like your soccer ball.”
“You don’t know what a cat looks like but you know the word “cathlete”?”
“I’m very well read.”
“I’m in love!” Victoire purred.
“That seems sudden.”
“Just go with it?”
“Oh, fine.”

So the couple went to find Purrspero and declare their love. The wizard stood on the edge of a stormy sea, trying to avoid the salt spray.
“Water,” he hissed, and wondered why he hadn’t asked Flutterbee to call a lightning storm without the rain.
“It wouldn’t have worked very well,” Flutterbee meowed, not because the spirit could read minds, but because Purrspero had a bad habit of thinking out loud.
“Stupid spirit,” Purrspero thought out loud.

“Father!” Tabby called. “The ship wrecked on the beach, and look — ”
“That’s not Doc Purr!”
“No, I’m Victoire, champion furrball player. I’d like to ask for — ”
“But my clever plan was to wreck the ship and make Doc Purr think you had died, and he would be so overcome with grief he would admit the horrible things he had done to me, and I would sail home victorious.”

Victoire and Tabby exchanged a look. Purrspero hadn’t even noticed their joint paws.
“Why would Doc Purr care if I died?”
“Aren’t you his son?” Purrspero asked.
“….No.”
“Well — ” The rest of what the great wizard said was cut off by a crash of thunder overhead.
“Father,” Tabby meowed. “I really need to talk to — ”
“Now it’s right back to the drawing board!” Purrspero complained.
“Doc Purr is safe in his lab; he cancelled the trip. And it could be years before he takes another boat trip — he just bought his own zepplin. What if, instead of waiting for something that might never happen, you and Tabby just come with me back to Metropurrlis?”

“Metropurrlis?” Tabby purred. “The city?”
“Sure. I’ll take you out for ice cream.”
“I’ll introduce you to the Marketplace,” Flutterbee whispered in Tabby’s ear. “You can do so much better than Victoire.”
“But my vengeance,” Purrspero complained.

But no one was having any of it. So, reluctantly, Purrspero repaired the ship, and the ragtag band set off for Metropurrlis and the brave new world it contained. But the wizard’s vendetta against Doc Purr still burned strong, and it remains, to this day…