Crypto State & Religion

Everyone knows crypto is tribal. Here’s a sketch of cryptos as churches.

May 10 · 2 min read

(1) Bitcoin

The Church of Bitcoin, led by Bishop Szabo, preaching the dogma of immutability.

(2) Ethereum

The Church of Ethereum, led by Vitalik Christ, evangelizing decentralization & critique.

(3) Tezos

The Church of Tezos, led by HRH Breitman, preaching the dogma of cryptocracy.

(4) EOS

The Church of EOS, led by King Larimer, presiding over the court of plutocracy.

(5) AVA

The Church of Avalanche, led by Saint Emin, advancing the dogma of crypto socio-logic.

(6) ConsenSys

The Church of ConsenSys, led by Lu(cypher)bin, pitching the creed of crypto-capitalism.

(7) Polkadot

The Church of Polkadot, led by the Pope of York, building a cult of dots from the ash of schism.

(8) You

The Church of You, led by Count Zamfir, preaching the creed of absurdism.

(9) Crypto Law

The Church of Crypto Law, built by COALAs, promoting the dogma of crypto humanism.

(10) SpankChain

The Church of SpankChain, led by a Molochov Cocktail, walking the walk of crypto libertarianism.

(11) Binance

The Church of Binance, led by Muezzin Zhao, singing all praise to crypto finance.

(12) Ripple

The Church of Ripple, with an open pulpit and star chambers, preaching the dogma of crypto-fiatism.

(13) IOTA

The Church of IOTA, led by Ægir Sønstebø, preaching the dogma of quantum-proofness.

(14) Democracy Earth

The Church of Democracy Earth, led by Santi Siri, preaching the gospel of crypto-socialism.

(15) Crypto’s Crypto

The Church of Crypto’s Crypto, led by the Soul of Satoshi, preaching the value of hidden knowledge.

This is a crowdsourced sketch, submitted to Crypto Law Review by Platoshi Sacramoto (CleanApp is just a pass-through).

Are you happy with the way your project is seen? Are you sad that your project is not on the list? Please add your thoughts below. And please remember, this is a sketch. :)


Written by


Small NGO with a big patent urging BigTech & Crypto to enable trash/hazard reporting & open source data. "The Wi-Fi & Bluetooth of TrashTech" -

Crypto Law Review

A journal pushing the bounds of our legal imaginaries, on-chain, off-chain, and against the chain.

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