’twas the night before halving …

Dec 18, 2019 · 3 min read

’Twas the night before halving, and on #CryptoTwitter

Not a creature was stirring, not even @pet3rpan_ peter

The buy orders were placed on exchanges with care,

In hopes the price rebound soon would be there;

The bitcoiners nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of citadels danced in their heads;

While Ethereans on laptops, and I at my desk,

Were doing our usual to mitigate risk,

When out on the reddits arose such a clatter,

Even bitcoiners roused to see what’s the matter,

Away to the forums they flew like a flash,

Cancelled all of their orders & sold all their BCash!

The moon on the breast of the halvening coin,

Was leaving the core and was rushing to join,

The staking and proofing Ethereum 2!!!

To bitcoiners, … this was like sniffing on glue.

Yet with so many Eth devs, so lively and goji,

I knew in a moment, it must be St. Oshi!

More rapid than unicorns powered by brownies,

Developers came by the hundreds and thousands,

“Now, Danny! now, Abby! now Dean! and now Johnson!

On, Joel! And, on, Vlad! And Eva, and Hudson!”

To the top of the charts! And to all-time new highs!

Now stake away! Stake away! Stake! And a-rise!

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the top of the charts Ether flew

Smart bags full of Eth, as St. Oshi long knew —

And then, at the halving, I saw on the twitter

The FUD and regret of bitcoiners now bitter

But I wished them all well, and was ready to leave

When down-chimney came Oshi, bearing more gifts.

She was dressed like a rainbow, from head to her foot,

Her clothes glow’d as diamonds, like an Eth goddess should

A bundle of swag she had flung on her back,

And she looked like a raver just opening her pack.

Her eyes — how they twinkled! her dimples, how merry!

Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!

Her smart plucky mouth was drawn up like a bow,

Spitting tweet-sults for fun and proverbial lulz;

The stump of a fiber trunk tight in her mouth,

With pulsating lights, circling far and around;

She moved callused fingertip, one to another

Earning deep eth respect from her sisters and brothers;

She was lean, green, and keen, without any bs

Everyone saw she played deep mental chess;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head

Calming… gentle… remote… tête-à-tête.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,

To audit the stakes, and then turn to the jerks,

And laying her finger aside of her nose,

She gave them a nod: up the chimney they rose;

She sprang to her CyberTruck, haters in tow

And away they all flew with their memecoins in stow

But I heard her exclaim, as she soon disappeared —

Happy Halving to all, and to all a good Eth!

Crypto Law Review

A journal pushing the bounds of our legal imaginaries, on-chain, off-chain, and against the chain.


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Nonprofit incentivizing open-source trash/hazard reporting & remediation ++ cool law stuff ++ "The Wi-Fi & Bluetooth of TrashTech" - cleanapp.io.

Crypto Law Review

A journal pushing the bounds of our legal imaginaries, on-chain, off-chain, and against the chain.