Fighting Depression at Home in East L.A.
As I was eating Honey Bunches of Oats in the living room, my roommates and I decided to create a bucket list to do after spring break to spend more time together. Since California State University, Northridge transitioned to virtual learning until mid-April to prevent the spread of COVID-19, we believed that this will bring us closer and create everlasting memories before we go our own separate ways.
Our plan was to go to Runyon Canyon, go to a hidden poppy field in Malibu, walk the Culver City Stairs, watch the new Mulan movie in theaters and go to the mall. Also, we wanted to take Instagram worthy shots for our social media.
Later in the day, my coworker texted me that LAUSD decided to close schools for two weeks and I was appalled by the news, but I understood why they made that decision. So, I decided to go back to East Los Angeles for spring break and return to student housing for online school.
Everything was according to plan, but on March 17 it went downhill for me.
I received an email from President Harrison addressing that “Alternate learning modalities, inclusive of instruction, final exams… and the like, have now been extended through the entirety of the spring semester… but we must do our part to ‘flatten the curve.’” Also, she preferred that students who live on campus should move out if they can and a refund will be issued to them.
I was distressed and upset when I got to the end of the email.
I laid in my bed and just stared blankly at the wall. My mind was running with worry thoughts about how am I suppose to do homework if I do not have internet at home? How will I help my mom with the rent since schools are closed? And where would I put my dorm essentials if I live in a one-bedroom house? My goal for this year was to end the semester right by creating unforgettable memories and experience the fun side of living on campus.
Libraries were already closed. There is no way I am able to do Zoom with my professors and complete my assignments since I rely on their Wi-Fi.
Additionally, Newson stated on that same night that schools should not be open to prevent exposure from faculty, students and staff.
After I moved out and cancelled my housing contract, I had a hard time transitioning to this lifestyle to the point I ignored my friends’ texts and had no motivation to do homework. My mom and I are no longer working and money is a burden to us. Also, I missed reading and playing catch with preschoolers. This took a toll on me that I ate food, watched Netflix and laid in my bed all day.
I decided to go to my phone carrier and asked if I can upgrade my phone plan to have unlimited mobile hotspot. Even though I received emails from CSUN that Comcast and Spectrum will offer free internet service for low-income families, I decided to stick to mobile hotspot because I do not have a home phone and a phone jack splitter.
My family and I are glued to the TV endlessly, we watch news channels to see press conferences from public officials and hear updates from The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors and the Department of Public Health. They show the number of cases and deaths that L.A. County endured and what precautionary measures we should take.
Just by watching and hearing this pandemic made me feel sad, anxious and lose motivation to do anything. I ignored my professors’ emails and missed two zoom sessions on the first day of virtual instruction. At that point, I did not really care about anything at all because I had planned many events with friends, roommates and family, but all got cancelled.
Currently, I am looking for ways to deal with this transition and making sure depression will not take control of my body. I searched online and I found a journal and a blog explaining how quarantine and isolation psychologically impacts an individual and how to manage it.
A scholarly journal from Science Direct described how 1,057 individuals felt being in quarantined during the SARS outbreak. They found out that 20% of them reported fear and 36% experienced nervousness and sadness.
“Qualitative studies also identified a range of other psychological responses to quarantine, such as confusion, fear, anger, grief, numbness, and anxiety-induced insomnia,” according to the journal.
A blog published from Psych Central, a website where health professionals give their insight about mental health, explains the different ways a individual can cope during the COVID-19 pandemic. Jenna Grace, a neurodivergent writer and educator, wrote that restrain from watching the news and instead create a weekly schedule by doing things that brings you joy, that way it will make an individual feel accomplish and making sure they did not waste a day of doing nothing.
“Movement is one of the most important things to do to keep your nervous system regulated,” said Grace. “And if you suffer from anxiety or depression or have a frequent flight-or-flight response, movement helps regulate your mental and emotional health the most. Whether it’s doing chores around the house, walking, dancing or running in place, make sure you move multiple times throughout the day.”
Presently, I limit watching the news by allowing myself to tune in for an hour to keep me updated and turn off news notifications from my phone. I help around the house by cleaning, dumping unnecessary household items, learning how to cook new meals and watching comedy sitcoms with my siblings.
Luckily, work study allows me to still get paid for the number of hours I usually work and my site manager gave me the opportunity to do extra hours online so I am able to help my mom with the rent.
Most importantly, I still call my friends to keep in contact with them and have our usual boy-drama conversations and talk with my siblings about our current living situation and how to make it fun.
