Cubicle Cultures

John Rowles
Cubicle Cultures
Published in
14 min readJun 5, 2017

3 Walls, plenty of stories

Illustration by Vidya Vasudevan, http://vidyavineed.blogspot.com/

Journal for the week of 5/29/27

5/29/27 — Memorial Day.

5/30/17
074-ish
— In. Didn’t look at the time I arrived and had to hard boot my PC. Now it’s some sort of scan for our email application. yay 😑

From the cubicle: My first actual acupuncture appointment is this afternoon. I’m looking forward to it. We had a couple of chipmunks in the house over the weekend. The little beasts were not easy to catch or find. When I went home for lunch on Friday, one had been captured in a trap/cage we set in the kitchen. I set it out on the deck and my wife relocated it about a mile or two away. However, we had a strange smell in the living room and it was concentrated in the chaise part of our sectional. We set it out on the deck to avoid the smell for a while. None of the rest of the sectional had the smell. After bringing it back in, the smell was worse. She shampooed the hell out of the cushion and the rest of that piece to no avail. During my gig on Saturday I got a text from her saying she found something dead in the couch and she couldn’t deal with it and stated that I do. So, I got home and saw that she had cut open some foam in the frame and there was a dead, squished chipmunk in it. She, of course, was freaked out about it (I don’t blame her one bit) and I grabbed some gloves and removed it. Come to find out there was a bit of a stain left behind and she asked me to pull that bit of the lining out since she was still timid about it which I did. The was still some residue of smell left and she poured baking soda in it to try and neutralize it. We’ll see if it works. WE ARE NOT GETTING A NEW SECTIONAL! No money for it now but, if we can get rid of the smell then I’ll consider the matter closed.

0859 — Walked into less emails than I had expected. Thank you God! I had requested that Google Chrome be installed on my box, got an email saying it was done, but it wasn’t. Had to email the guy that sent the notification and he’s out today. Go figure. Some of our applications work better on Chrome since Microsoft isn’t updated Internet Explorer any longer.

0945 — Just sent an email to the hiring manager for the job I got vetted out for asking for specifics as to why. I’ll probably get a generic response which I’ll bullshit on. I’m now on a full time search for another company. My current one, I feel, isn’t interested in my career advancement. It’s probably me but I’ve no idea at moment.

From the cubicle: Spent a bit of time this morning re-tooling my resume. I took a resume writing video course that had some great points about formatting, etc. and realized my resume looked like crap. A buddy of mine sent his resume and I wasn’t all that impressed but he got an interview for the last job I applied to so it couldn’t have been all that bad, just a little lengthy. I’ve no idea what is keeping me held back from getting interviews but need to figure it out; still looking outside the company. A friend of mine landed a job on our team to manage the alerts team. I’m very happy for him; he’s got a great personality and reputation. He let me know via text yesterday. However, he went from an analyst 3 to a management slot. It’s got to be me and something I’ve done wrong along the way.

1251 — I think I’m done with the resume rewrite for now. Burned out on it. Got an email reminding me and several others to close our implementation tickets. Seems I forgot one of mine and, thankfully, a reminder was sent out. Ticket is now closed. I have to hand it to our change management team, they are always on top of things. Listening to Springsteen now…a calming influence. Thunder Road and Brilliant Disguise are 2 of my favorite tunes of all time. We saw him last year in DC and were glad we went.

From the cubicle: My sister-in-law (I have 4 of them) sent a link to a great video of a guy playing guitar and singing an Elvis tune to a couple of parrots. One bird loved it and was “dancing” to it. The other bird wasn’t impressed.

1605 — Quiet afternoon, leaving in a few for my appointment.

5/30/17
0750
— In.

From the cubicle: The first acupuncture appointment was a success. After getting a bit of chiropractic work done, I went into a separate room and got stuck with about a dozen or so needles in my ears. Before all that the doc showed me this cool 3-D model of an ear and the different spots that would get targeted. He explained about the sections of the ear that transmit signals to the brain and how those transmitters affect different things. It was endleslly fascinating. While lying there, he put on some music…Little Feat at my request and I stayed there for half an hour. When I finally got up I had trouble even standing up straight. Totally disoriented and still feel that way a bit now. I was also apprehensive about driving home but didn’t realize I was in a state of relaxation I’ve not felt, to my knowledge, before. We went through some breathing exercises which also helped relax me. Last night I finally crashed on the couch…BEFORE 9pm! Very rare. I woke up around midnight and crawled into bed. My wife couldn’t sleep and she went to the couch. I slept till probably ~5 but didn’t check the clock. Either way, it was a blissful few hours of sleep. I wish my wife could. have had the same. I’m not a person that likes to be touched so the chirpractor stuff made me uncomfortable but it’s part of the treatment. I started the herbal supplements this morning so we’ll see how my body reacts to them. Never have I been one to try or even consider holistic methods of medicine. However, with certain bad habits, anxiety, stress, etc. I thought it was time I tried something different. This is very unlike me and my wife is surprised I’d consider it. It’ll take some time getting used to all this but I’m hoping the treatments are worth it. My doc is a cool guy, Sikh, very 1960s, great sense of humor and dedicated. Quite a talker as well.

0936 — Just got back from picking my wife up from the metro and taking her home. She had to drop her car off for repair and the dealership is ~10 miles away. It’s right next to a metro stop so it was easy for her to get back. I had sent an email to a manager filling in for mine letting her know but she hadn’t seen it yet and I recalled it. No harm, no foul on this. Nothing in the way of meetings today but I’m representing for a colleague for one and I have to do a name change for a branch after 1630. The rest of the day will be regular support for anyone that needs it and maybe some lynda.com courses.

From the cubicle: My youngest let me know that she’s picking up the keys to a house she’ll start renting on 6/1. She and her boyfriend will be living there. Not real thrilled about the non-married cohabitation but she’s happy so I’m happy. Her boyfriend is a good guy and I’ll readily approve him for marrying my daughter should the day come…but that day better be well off into the future…j/s ;)

1309 — Finished lunch. Another bacon cheeseburger meal…large fries…water. Can’t get enough of either. Been quiet so far. A friend gave me some good feedback on my resume and I’ll continue editing it today. For an Resource Manager role he suggested adding more around the team leadership duties,mentoring, any review inputs, budgeting, did I provide any training plans, or advice for hiring mgr etc. If looking for a Service Manager role, add more enterprise architecture experience.

1636 — Attended my 1 meeting to proxy for a teammate and that’s been the extent of my afternoon outside of some consulting with folks on other matters (yes, work related). Now I’m waiting for 1700 to hit so I can do about a 5 second update to a table and I can go home. However, I’m rather enjoying a protein bar (chocolate with peanut butter) and seltzer water (lime). Two great tastes that go great together :) House of Cards is on the schedule for tonight’s viewing pleasure. Since it’s shot in Baltimore, I have a few friends that are in some episodes. One of them has been on at least 1 show every season. She’s an extra in the press corps. She’s not had a speaking part yet but can be seen each time. Another friend has a speaking part with Neve Campbell in episode 11. Yet another friend of mine had a scene with Kevin Spacey a couple of seasons ago; he played a Supreme Court justice. I know a few other people that have been on VEEP, Discovery Channel shows, etc. Who knew the DMV was such a hotbed of talent? Everyone here does and now it’s paying off for many of them. It’s a real honor being part of the creative scene here. I’ll be participating in the DC 48 Hour Film Project again this year. I’ve done it a few times and it’s fun but stressful AF. Creating a 4–8 minute film in 48 hours is tough. Post production (editing/scoring/rendering) is a bitch but worth it every time we see our film on the big screen in a theater. I’ve never watched an episode of the TV talent shows, nor will I. Why? Because every single time I see a film I’ve worked on viewed in a theater, that’s more validation than the folks on any of those shows will ever have.

6/1/17
0645
— In. Got in early so I can take my wife to a doc appointment and front load the day so I don’t have to make up time on the back end.

0830 — Finished validating some code that went to PROD this morning with the help of a colleague. This was the branch name change I’ve mentioned in prior entries. Nothing fancy, just typing over one name with the other. Not much on my schedule meetings-wise but there’s a session to discuss our employee engagement survey this afternoon. It’s joke IMO. I don’t recall if I even participated in it this year, probably not. I doubt I’ll join the meeting. Probably the same shit as it always is, just management and pollsters giving us the numbers, telling us we’re doing a great job, areas that need improvement, and overrunning the time to avoid a Q&A session (meaning “email us your questions should you have any”). Like most places, little to nothing will come of it. To many of us it’s just a management exercise to prove their involvement. I must say our CIO and CTO are good people and genuinely care. Not sure I can say that of others but overall I think there’s a good feeling about management including the ones folks think don’t care. This is a big organization and it’s tough to keep track of it all for upper management.

1006 — Got back a few minutes ago from dropping my wife off. Have to leave again in about an hour to pick her up and take her home. Colonoscopy day! I’ve not had one yet and not looking forward to it.

From the cubicle: Got to trade emails with my brother-in-law yesterday and today. I reached out to get input on the music he likes to listen to. He’s an avid jazz enthusiast and a player himself, mainly sax, in his day. I’ve not composed any new music in a very long time and his background may help get me going again. The upcoming film festival competition will break that streak but I’d rather not have to use it to force the creative side of me. He’s a Beatles fan, I love the Stones…yet we get along well. He’s a good man, dedicated to family and runs a day school for kids with academeic and personal difficulties for close to 20 years. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does.

1020 — End of month (EOM) processes started today for some my team. A zillion jobs running at once and a few standalone, all producing data for other programs/jobs/processes to be loaded into a massive respository. Two of my guys are on it each time and there’s the potential for little to no sleep for a couple of days. Too many points of failure for the whole thing and we don’t have time to rewrite any of it. Damn near every system here pings the repository and our. business customers use it for reporting and analysis. The first schedule alone has ~60 unique jobs, many run in parallel. It’s run quite smoothly for close to a year and we cover any issues pretty quickly. I have a monthly report due which “might” get done by the end of the week. Stress “might”. There’s time this afternoon to get it started.

1337 — Went and made coffee…believe it or not I didn’t get my morning cup and now I’m dealing with decaf. Kill me. While making it, the coffee maker (Kuerig) overflowed when I lifted the handle and I got a light burn on my right risk. Sore but not unbearable. All this while being on a conference call. Not paying attention is unusual for me but I was listed as “optional” for being on the call and the subject, employee engagement (yes, I decided to dial in…sue me), is so riveting that I had to step away from it and get coffee. Thanks to karma, I got burned and had to settle for decaf. Lesson. Learned.

1519 — Just found out that we are absorbing another team. A friend came over and let me know she and her team will be joining us; just their manager and a few techs that handle a couple of specific applications. An announcement was sent to management only, nothing filtered down to my level. We have no clue why they’re coming over but time will tell if it’ll work out. Another assistant manager job is available under my AVP…not applying. Been burned too often here. It’s all good, the announcement closes today. The overall team is getting pretty big and it’ll be interesting to see the new factions.

1620 — Out.

6/2/17
1039
— Busy morning. Got in at 074-something. One meeting that was an hour ended at 10 but nothing much else going on. Weather is beautiful so it’s no wonder that we’re only ~80% capacity today. It’s also the start of vacation season and, now that school is out, I expect we’ll be seeing less folks around till Fall. I’m retooling my internal resume again. Not sure why, I’ve had it with trying to find management jobs here. My decision to not apply to anything again for the rest of this year stands.

From the cubicle: My wife and I are leaving tonight for NY. We’re going up for a ceremony to unveil a headstone at the grave of her step-mom’s brother who passed a couple of years ago. I only met him once but, from the stories I heard, he was a hell of a man. Wish I had gotten to know him but never got the opportunity. Although somber, it’ll be good to see the family again. My in-laws are great people. Generous and friendly all the time and they’re no different than any other family, warts and all. I’ve known all of them for 10 years and barely know anything about them and vice versa. I made the decision to open up more this year as we get to spend more time with them. The emails I’ve been trading with my brother-in-law have been fun. Pretty much all music based but I’ve enjoyed getting to know him better. I’ve been showing my asshole-ness a lot towards them lately and it needs to end. To know me is to know I have no filter…at all. Ever. Her family is too forgiving, mine is always up for a fight be it physical, verbal, or both; typical rednecks we are. My wife and I don’t travel well together when we drive. I rather hate long car rides and she’s a roadtrip kind of gal but I’ll keep my mouth in check. My mind just isn’t right lately and I’m trying to figure it out. I guess it boils down to not being able to do what I want for a living and make money at it. Being a creative doesn’t pay unless you have contacts which I don’t. Music, writing, podcasts (still haven’t recorded my first episode), etc. are ubiquitious and mine don’t really stand apart. We shall see what the future holds.

From the cubicle: Lunch time! Meaning that I’m eating the sandwich, salami with mayo and cheese on whole wheat with a seltzer water. Eating in your cube here isn’t really frowned upon, practically everyone does. We have a decent break room a couple of floors below me but the noise is too much. Even with all the people around me in the cube farm, it’s still quieter to eat at my desk.

1344 — There’s times when it’s good that it’s quiet in the office then there’s today. It’s been WAY too quiet. It makes me (and everyone else) nervous. It’s Friday and there’s not a good vibe right now. Wish I could leave early and hide but will man-up and take what happens.

From the cubicle: A teammate let us know that one of our PMs is getting married at the end of the month and is collecting money for a gift card…I tossed in $20. The PM is a young woman, very smart and a good worker. I had known about the engagement for a while now. Her betrothed works in IT at another company. Only met him once, seems like a good guy. They’ve been together for a few years and I’m sure a lifetime of happiness awaits them. Marriage is pretty tough these days and so is she.

1506–90 minutes till the weekend. My wife is leaving at 1530 to get home a bit early to finish packing. By the time I get home she’ll be ready to go.

From the cubicle: I just swiped a bug off my neck and now feel covered with bugs. Every twitch makes me think there’s something crawling on me. I hate this fucking feeling. I’m not afraid of bugs but, in the moment, it was creepy. We have those tiny fruit flies floating around once in a while thanks to people with plants in their cubes and they annoy TF out of me. Since we’re not allowed to have any sprays (insect or a scented spray) at work, we have to deal with it. THIS IS BULLSHIT!

1559 — Home stretch. I’m done with editing my resume for now. I though I was a couple of days ago but couldn’t leave it alone. Monthly report should be done by Monday. I don’t really like that we’re leaving tonight. NY is about a 4.5 hour drive, 5 with a food/gas stop and it’s Friday night. Not an optimal solution but I guess it’s better than trying to do it all in one day tomorrow. As long as we get there safe without any fights in the car is all I care about.

1617 — Friend ofmine applied/interviewed for a job outside the company with nterview went great. it was hiring manager and the prime contractors (his boss) on a telecon after, the manager said he considered me the candidate and said they wanted to work up an offer. fortoday we were off some on salary, but I said I was negotiable. anyway I get a form letter from the recruiter today saying I didn’t get it no word from the manager. just the recruiter pressed for more info and called, just dumbfounded she said the prime (bosses boss) thought I needed more technical skills.

1630 — Out.

Thanks for reading all of this! If you enjoyed this piece please click the heart below and comment if you wish. I’d love to hear your experiences no matter what they may be. Also, I have two books available on Amazon that I advocate you to buy, Manku and Manku Too. For more about me and what I do, here’s my website.

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John Rowles
Cubicle Cultures

Voiceover Artist and Audiobook Narrator - My voice is clear, concise, matter of fact; Like the buddy that shows up with beer, bait and plenty of great stories.