Do You Suffer from Chronic Depression or are you a Liverpool Fan

Do you have critically low energy levels? Does the thought of slitting your wrists fill you with indescribable joy? You may be suffering from severe depression or it may just be that you support Liverpool F.C

Take our test to discover if you are depressed or just simply a Liverpool fan

What is your greatest fear in life?

A. Losing the love of my family and friends, living a meaningless existence, floating endlessly in orbit like an untethered kite

B. Going trophyless for the tenth bloody season in a row

What makes you sad?

A. A lot. War. Famine. Child Slavery. I also get very upset when people do not slather me with care and attention at the slightest opportunity. It makes me feel very unloved.

B. Watching Jordan Henderson play the soccer week in week out.

What do you think of the most?

A. Killing myself majorly

B. I think mostly of how to avoid Manchester United fans if Liverpool somehow fail to make it out of the Champions League group stages. I have concluded on faking my own death.

When last did you cry?

A. Yesterday. I felt fat and ugly and the world didn’t care. It was heart breaking.

B. Tuesday after the team sheet was released. Adam Lallana somehow found his way into the starting lineup.

What was the last bad dream you had?

A. I dreamt everyone around me died and I was left all alone in this cold world

B. I had a dream Karius was back at the club and he threw the ball into his own net with no player around him in the Champions League Finals. I woke up relieved at first only to realize that really bloody happened.

Mostly A’s? You are having a spell of mental depression. Take a bath while thinking of what an entitled little bastard you are and you’ll be fine. All the best.

Mostly B’s? You’re just a Liverpool fan which is honestly no better than soul crushing depression. Congrats mate, your life sucks and there is no turning back.