Mo Weekly #56

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Moyosore Quadri
Nov 1 · 2 min read

Roughly 10 hours ago, someone at my gym asked me for a bottle of water. He drank to his satisfaction only to return it “almost empty” -from my estimation and when I asked why he’d even return an almost empty bottle of water as opposed to just being an outright asshat and finishing it, he said “it’s not empty, it’s just not full”.

Alas!

The age old dilemma re-emerged; is the glass half empty or half full?

With a lot of unanswered questions running through my mind, I sat down with pretentious snub Susan in a desperate attempt to find answers.

Mo: Is the glass half empty or half full?

Susan: It depends. Did you drink the water or did you spill it?

Mo: Straight off the bat? Okay, carry on

Susan: The first thing that pops into everyone’s head when they are faced with a dilemma as gargantuan as this is ‘Optimism V. Pessimism’.

If you’re for half empty, you’re a pessimist.

If you’re for half full, you’re a Disney princess.

But I am not everyone!

I realised that the question no one asks is what you did with the water that sprouted this age long dilemma.

When the cup was full with water, did you drink it or did you spill it?;

Did you make hay while the sun was out in all it’s glory or did you waste your chance of a perfect tan?;

When it mattered most, did you come up good on a rainy night in Stoke?

Mo: You make an interesting point. So what you’re saying is that the dilemma is merely an aftermath?

Susan: Exactly!

Mo: So what’s your stance on the decades of research that has been put into differentiating the mind of a pessimist from that of an optimist?

Susan: It’s a hoax, there’s no such categorisation.

Mo: Is that your theory?

Susan: It is THE theory.


Check out the other times Cuble partnered up with our pretentious guest:

Cuble

I tell lies

Moyosore Quadri

Written by

I had an epiphany when Anne Marie said "I eat my body weight in chocolate and ice cream"

Cuble

Cuble

I tell lies

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