You are allowed to quit(and you should!)

Having grit does not mean never quitting. Being gritty actually requires that you quit certain activities so that you can hone in on your true passion.

Grit. It’s a new buzzword in education, and with good reason.

Research has shown that passion for long term goals predicts positive outcomes for young people, from high school graduation in challenging school environments, to success at Ivy League universities, and persistence in the harrowing and trying first weeks at West Point. So yes, it matters. And at Character Lab, we are working hard to find ways to help kids grow grit in classroom settings.

But we are also working hard to dispel misunderstandings and myths.

There are a lot of misunderstandings about grit, perhaps none more common or enduring than the view that gritty people don’t quit.

In fact, gritty people quit things all the time. For example, after trying to make his mark as a professional baseball player, without lots of success, Michael Jordan, one of the grittiest athletes in the history of sports, decided to continue to focus on basketball, effectively quitting his baseball career. The renowned American chef, Julia Child, quit her career as a spy for the US government after 6 years to pursue her passion for the culinary arts. These are just a couple examples of how quitting is part of being gritty and not it’s arch nemesis.

Quitting is the pathway to grit. After all, choosing long term goals, persisting towards them, putting in the hours of deliberate practice required to truly grow and develop a skill — these are a deepening of expertise, but also a narrowing of expertise. You can’t be gritty about every interest, hobby or passion. Choosing to become gritty and developing expertise for skateboarding, science, or sewing means paring down other things you might also pursue.

And, without trying lots of things, it’s hard to know where your true passions lie. It is the process of trying lots of different options — and quitting the ones that don’t set your soul on fire — that allow us to find our passions and pursue them in a gritty and deliberate way.

Of course, there is a difference between quitting, and, you know, quitting! I advocate for trying lots of things, especially for young people, and only sticking with the ones that you really want to invest in. I am not talking about this kind of quitting. When it comes time to move on, one can do so in a timely way, and in a way that respects other people’s time and dedication (not quitting the musical the night before the high school play). Dr. Angela Duckworth, who studies grit at the University of Pennsylvania, says that in her house, her kids are allowed to quit activities, but not in moments of frustration, and only at the end of the semester or season.

So, try lots of things.

Move on from the ones that you don’t love. Stick with the ones you do.
And get gritty.

Lorenzo Castillo contributed to this post.