44°F

Overslept today, missed group. I remember waking up and being so exhausted when I shut off my alarm that I just crawled in bed and went back to sleep.

The roomie asks how I’m doing and I say I’m groggy. “You?” I ask. He says that he doesn’t want to worry me and that he doesn’t expect me to ask just because he asked. I told him it was okay if he didn’t want to answer. I resisted saying, “I don’t really care either way,” because that sounds horrible, and what I really mean is that I don’t care if he voices it or not because I can usually tell regardless. Dishwasher not washing, roomie is putting cups in there after he soaked them in vinegar overnight. Garbage disposal is broken again, I write all of this on the board on the fridge.

“I’ll call the maintenance people again today, they didn’t do anything about the washer being broken yesterday but I’ll call,” I say.

“The washer’s broken?” he asks.

“Yeah, it’s not drained all the way the past two times I’ve used it and not released fabric softener.”

I take some papers into the living room and look over our food stamps deductions to see why combining our household into two people reduced our combined food stamps to $130 when they were $195 for just me as a single person. Should I ask him to pay more for food? Go to food pantries? I think it would be easiest to call them and ask them to take him off of mine and tell them we are just going to prepare our food separately. I’ll need to discuss this with roomie so he understands the options.

Call the maintenance people but no one is answering, wait for answering machine message to end when roomie comes in yelling at Lola who’s in the middle of pooping on the floor. “There’s no point in yelling at her once she’s started,” I say. He apologizes for yelling and I notice she didn’t poop much so I ask him to take her outside.

He shuffles over to his shoes and narrowly misses where one of her poops has rolled on the floor, not sure if he notices. After he comes back in, he says that he will try to finish cleaning later and goes into his room and shuts the door.

Practicing singing, Elliott Smith feels right today. Loving this new mic, cringing sometimes with how much of a problem I have with rhythm while monitoring myself in headphones haha.

Will try to work on rhythm.

Called maintenance again, asked about work order from yesterday, guy said to call 1–800 number. I asked if he meant the one that’s for emergency requests and he said yea that’s where they’re telling them to have us call. I asked for the number and he said he didn’t have it in front of him and looked up my work order from yesterday. He said the appliance guy was out until Monday but that we were on the list. I told him to add a broken dishwasher and a broken garbage disposal to the list of things that need fixed.

Set up new mic by piano, plinked around for a bit and then played along with chopin and elliott smith in my headphones to monitor. G minor fuck yeah!

Streeeetch ribs and delts. Still having trouble being able to feel part of ribs, I’m still holding out hope that it’s just a nerve that was deactivated and that if I stretch/relax enough, the right combo will happen and everything will align or something and I’ll be able to feel my belly.

Fi and Fe reminds me of the arabic sun and moon letters.

Breakup song karaoke time. Finally seeing what my middle school chorus teacher was saying about elongating the diaphragm. I am so grateful for her instruction.