A Day Late

Alright, another morning. I’m not in the habit of seeing two mornings in a row very often, so this is noteworthy.

Yesterday brought in a batch of videos recommended by friends:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffUnNaQTfZE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x00LMa8bnAo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsQ-OPIZ5kg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38rf9FLhl-8

My room and living room look drastically different than they did yesterday and I’m noticing this morning that my legs are cramping so I drank some gatorade and had some extra water. I usually just try to go back to sleep when that happens, or eat. I tend to feel pretty crappy most days, and I’m trying to isolate why.

I feel like so much of my time is spent just figuring out what order to do things in so I can get the most out of myself and my life. The fun lately has been coming from my life seeming to choose me rather than me choosing it. Most of what I do doesn’t start by design, but by random trial and error, I just try a lot of things and writing is one of them.

Ravenously hungry all of a sudden, gonna make more oatmeal. Fermentable fiber + probiotics = short chain fatty acids!

Roomie is awake. He had oatmeal and slept a little but was woken up by Kleo at 2am because she was out of water. We’re out of coffee, roomie asked me to hand him what’s left of the decaf. I got my food stamps today so I asked if he wants to go to the grocery. He said he does. I mentioned that he could put yerba mate in the coffee and it would have more caffeine than decaf but would taste more like grass and he made a face at me. He said he’d rather have the taste of coffee. “You would want to try it?”

Garbage disposal is broken, added it to the list of things to call maintenance about. Several things on the list I’ve called multiple times about and they haven’t fixed them. I asked him, since he’s a “normal” person, whether he’d prefer to be called once and have all five things told to him, five different times with one thing each time, or a letter with a list of the things. He said, “Option two or option three” (because he doesn’t like being bothered that many times).

I told him that he could also put ginseng in his coffee and that he probably wouldn’t taste it because I put it in my tea and don’t notice a taste. He said he’d try the yerba mate and sang about putting grass in his coffee.

I’m thinking about the idea I had for a podcast that we could do because I realized yesterday that “discography” and “bibliography” both refer to a collection of medias and I couldn’t figure out why disco was called “disco.” He explained something about Europe and discoteca or something and I thought of biblioteca and he went on about a bunch of different music things that I didn’t find interesting but which I thought that other people would.

Oh, I need to remind roomie to print off bank statement to send in to food stamps verification place. Well, it turns out that he already did and put it with the forms yesterday so I was able to get that enveloped and stamped and put by the door.

Worked on more of the ZK code, trying a different approach this time around. Going to work with it like a graph with X, Y coordinates because it’s so symmetrical like it was made on graph paper. I’m bisecting and identifying/listing unique characteristics to follow up on rather than trying to make sense of it all at once. There’s a lot of symmetry and nested symbols/letters at the midlines.

Then I pooped. Less pain than usual, hopefully I’m not just imagining that. Been thinking on healthy mucin since last week when I watched Dr. Rhonda Patrick on Joe Rogan. It was a really exciting episode and I learned a lot about probiotics, gut health, and neurotransmitters. Oh! The yerba mate I had this morning might have been the reason I had to go more urgently than usual. I’m going to be hungry soon.

I’m writing and thinking a little more slowly than usual. Considering things more, rushing less. Today was the second to last day on my pill boxes, I’ll need to fill them up tomorrow. Do I need anything refilled? I should probably check that today. My life has a lot of steps, and I’m not very good at keeping track of steps. My food going down is hard to keep track of as it is, with things getting stuck in my esophagus and delaying when the food gets to my stomach. I don’t always (usually!!) monitor that and so I spend a lot of time lying on my stomach on the computer after having eaten feeling bloated but too sad to sit up.

Just realized that even if I don’t do capoeira tonight that I also have the option to go to contra dancing. I’d usually feel bad about having two conflicting things but it’s nice when I think of it more modular like I have extra things to choose from. I *do* need to make sure I follow up with the group about the capoeira, though, because I’m very interested in it if I can get rides there and find a way to pay (or they mentioned payment arrangements?).

Stomach crampy, I don’t think I’m hungry yet. I took some magnesium and potassium with gatorade this morning cause leg cramps woke me up. I ate some fruit. I guess any of the above could be causing my stomach to cramp. I will try massaging it and then seeing if I’m just hungry.

Stretched and got up, felt nice pop almost happen in lower back. Took Lola outside, she still didn’t poop. Roomie said that he thinks I put stuff in different places sometimes just to mess with him. I thought he was talking about Lola’s leash but he was holding the measuring cup and he said I put it in a different cabinet and he couldn’t find it. He was pouring oil on butter in the measuring cup. I told him I was half awake this morning when I unloaded the dishwasher and didn’t remember doing that at all, completely unintentional! haha

Lola tried to run after Kleo, who has been getting braver this week and roaming when Lola’s out. She was on the bookshelf and Lola lunged at her. I put Lola back on the leash and took her to the kitchen until she stopped barking. I brought her back and had her sit down by Kleo until she started trying to lunge again, brought her back to kitchen, the third time she did very well with lying down until she got too excited and starting shaking and warbling…crazy dog.

Okay I’m definitely hungry and I think roomie is making eggs which is great cause my hands are shaky and the start of the purple tinges of raynauds is starting.

Lola has a bump on her head that’s been bloody and oozy for a few days, I’m worried. I need to figure out what’s going on, ask someone to check it out. I’m completely out of money.

Talking to a friend about juggling patterns and how I notice conversation frequencies feeling similar to how the balls being juggled look and that maybe I could color code my ingoing and outgoing messages for a few days and see what my typical day of social networking looks like. Especially cross-chatter! Oh boy, I think I’m creating a lot of work for myself for sure. Hopefully something will pay money, I’d like to be able to find something that I can do and actually keep up with. Really hungry back hurts.

Head on carpet. Dark. Breathe. Go hang out in yoga swing til food.

As soon as I walked out door “Want pancakes?”

Pancakes stuck in throat. Put leftover in fridge, get water. Shit! Left door open and Lola got out. She might poop on the floor or go after Kleo again. Corral her back in room, fill up water..err…reverse those two. Sit down, too warm in here. Food still in throat. Don’t panic! Just sit and relax cause when you try to block it out and forget you end up doing something dumb like lying down and delaying food going down. I need a command for my LES, something like “Open Sesame” or whatever it was that you use in Zelda OoT to open the doors in King Jabu Jabu’s belly — a hookshot?

This whole paying attention to what I’m doing thing is kind of tiring at times. It’s also scary because I’ve been neglecting so many things and I don’t like being aware of them all at once. I need to find a better pattern so that I can keep up with what needs to be done, not bring in more than I can handle. Geeze all these juggling sequence metaphors today. If I don’t stop with it, I’m gonna end up color coding all kinds of things in my life.

Knock knock chat log

pill bug chat log

Bleh kinda tired. Might need more tea or to put my face on the floor some more. Food still not quite down! Sit back up! Installing Fb messenger. Go make christmas cards or start on them or something.

Something hurts, can’t tell if spine or stomach (or both?) Hurts in the front but also on the left side like in the crook of a vertebra. Pinched nerve? Alright food’s not going down again. Verified still food in esophagus, yup, still food not phantom “stuck” feeling. Swallowed food back down.

Stretched on the yoga swing, lying down on stomach now and the pressure isn’t in my esophagus anymore. Lower back popped when I straightened my legs. Relaxing into belly, feel spine muscles loosen a little. A few up-down cobras. Trying to lie down and press a little into my belly at like 15 degree intervals toward the ground. Waiting…for spine to feel not like it’s tangled. Need to relax hips, hips too tight.

Chat finish tea. I moved a piano yesterday! ooooooh. That’s what’s wrong with my back today. Okay! Well at least there’s that. Need to take Lola out.

She still didn’t poop. I noticed my back would hurt when she’d jerk the leash and run off the other direction, tried focusing on my hips for stabilization.

Stretching, internet convos.

Ate the rest of pancake. Working on hips. Hips are not happy with me.