A Beautiful Paradox
(and why anonymity should be abolished in the workplace)
By Nanci Meadows, People Champion of Hubb. This article is an excerpt from Culture Ambassadors’ new book of 24 papers written by Academy members.
For a few years now, our company has employed an awesome team member engagement software tool. It does all the things a proper engagement tool should do like encourage responses to mini-surveys, garner feedback or suggestions and even allow for peer-to-peer recognition in fun and playful ways. Team members love it and are absolutely more engaged because of it. But I’m beginning to hate it. In fact, I suspect it may be causing permanent damage to our team members and, consequently, to our company as a whole.
You see, our corporate philosophy is one of freedom, collaboration and personal responsibility. Our primary core tenet is that “people do not manage people, people manage commitments”. This is something we believe everyone is capable of doing quite well as responsible adults. Our core value of Authenticity is based on the idea that we can be our true, genuine selves in an environment that is safe and will not harm us in our vulnerability.
In keeping with these core beliefs, we encourage direct and difficult conversations. We openly declare that we do not have “Issue Escalation” in our organization; we have “Issue Resolution”. We use the below image to illustrate the difference.
In many traditionally hierarchical organizations, people will take their issues to a designated individual and ‘lob them over the fence’. They walk away glad to have the issue off their own hands and hopeful that the appropriate person gets it resolved quickly!
In our environment of self-management, we employ Issue Resolution. We readily recognize that there is no one on the other side of that fence. In fact, we are all on the same side — if you have an issue, it is just that: yours. As a team, we provide collaborative support and understanding when individuals need to manage an issue. We develop processes and tools that make it easier for us to address and resolve our own challenges together.
It must be said that for very sensitive issues like harassment or discrimination, we heartily agree that confidentiality is in order. We would never expect anyone to have to resolve that sort of issue on their own. But confidentiality is not anonymity and the distinction is an important one.
Where I’ve begun to struggle with our engagement tool is in the anonymity it encourages. In the tool, team members can add anonymous Virtual Suggestions which all coworkers are able to see. Sometimes these submissions are downright unkind. Once a colleague brought his very well behaved 9-year-old son into the office and within 5 minutes someone anonymously “suggested” that people should give warning when they’re bringing children so that others can stay home if they want. Ouch! Would this have been said out loud by anyone, ever? Not a chance! But allow for anonymity and suddenly the barriers of decency and kindness are somehow too easily breached.
By providing an avenue for people to ‘lob comments over the fence’ with no accountability, we’ve effectively violated our own belief system. But even more concerning is the damage we’re inflicting on our team members who are sending those comments. Here’s how.
We believe that direct communication, transparency and full disclosure are all elements of a strong, healthy and vibrant community. But we all know that difficult conversations are just that — difficult! I mean, how do you tell a colleague that you struggle when their child is in the office? I contend that through collective awareness and open acknowledgement we can all begin to learn how.
The key for us is in recognizing that our strength lies in our complete and utter vulnerability. In our society, this is anything but natural. It is a beautiful paradox.
Kintsugi is a lovely ancient Japanese practice where broken pottery is mended using a special lacquer dusted with gold, silver or platinum. This method gives the repaired piece an entirely new look that does not hide the damage but highlights it.
The cracks on the ceramic bowl therefore do not represent the end of its useful life, but rather call attention to what was its weakness. The declared brokenness now becomes the object’s greatest strength. The piece is clearly more beautiful for having been flawed. All this is done in glorious openness for all to see!
Anonymity is the opposite of such vulnerability. It is a form of hiding and hiding finds its origins in fear. The fearful nature of anonymity is not only spurred by those who hide behind it but is proliferated among all who are its recipients. Take, for instance, the anonymous comment that once came through our engagement tool that called out our Office Administrator’s efforts to supply our kitchen with desirable snacks as “a joke”. Our Office Administrator was understandably disappointed that attempts to satisfy the team had been unsuccessful, but because the hurtful comment came anonymously and seemingly from out of the blue, they immediately felt unsafe among their own team. Who was it that made that comment? It could be anyone… heck, maybe it’s everyone! What if everyone has been talking about it amongst themselves and only one of them was “brave” enough to put it into words? And so the internal voice of fear begins its relentless rampage until this person who had been quite happy and confident is now hurt and afraid to act for fear of further missteps.
We empathize with the person in the above example who was hurt and made to feel unsafe among their peers. The pain inflicted on them was real and we are right to be incensed by it. But what of the person who made the anonymous comment? I contend that this person is also a true casualty of this scenario.
When we are fearful of not only sharing but of owning our thoughts or spoken words, we are actually losing out on one of the greatest opportunities for freedom, growth and acceptance. Hiding behind a protective barrier of anonymity may mean “safety” in the immediate but ultimately results in isolation and uncertainty.
Those who learn how to be open-hearted and courageous in their relationships, saying out loud the difficult words and acknowledging their weaknesses or fears are the ones who ultimately are freed from those same fears. Yes, their brokenness is out there for all the world to see, but they are not shamed for the damage they reveal. On the contrary, in the same way that the gilded bowl is valued for its revelation, the one who reveals their vulnerability is appreciated and granted understanding.
It was C.S Lewis who said, “Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…” When we fearlessly pull back the curtain to reveal our full selves, in that moment we are able to recognize our likeness in each other. There is no greater safety or freedom than in such kinship.
We as founders and leaders of the organizations in which our colleagues spend their working lives must cultivate environments that stimulate genuine openness. Cultures of transparent communication will inspire personal commitments to authenticity, respect and kindness in the safety of mutual dependence. After all, who among us would not love to live in that fearless world?
Nanci Meadows
Nanci Meadows is the People Champion of Hubb, an event management software company in Vancouver, WA. The awesome team at Hubb builds products that power some of the largest events in the world including HubSpot and Microsoft Ignite.
Having worked with teams in the areas of process improvement and execution excellence for over 20 years, Nanci’s primary focus has evolved into creating cultures where every team member is able to be the full, wonderful, amazing adult at work as they are anywhere else in life. Hubb colleagues agree that “there is no such thing as work-life balance — there’s just this one life and you happen to be living some of it here.” This near-nirvana is achieved through a self-managed teams methodology. When people are free to manage their commitments (not each other) exciting and innovative things begin to happen!
Nanci was the 2016 Portland Business Journal HR Leadership Award winner for her efforts in liberating teams to achieve their highest potential through self-management.
