An open letter to carpets; or, why you should put literally anything else on your floors.
Cold-War America called — they want their flooring back.
Dear Carpet,
I hate you. I really, really hate you. I’m pretty sure I’ve always felt this way but it’s only in recent years that I’ve come to realize this (I credit HGTV and the over-saturation of glorious hardwood flooring for my enlightenment). I suppose you have your time and your place in the world, but certainly not in my house. When I see real estate listings boasting, “new wall to wall carpeting throughout,” I cringe.
Why, people? Why?
Am I really this passionate about flooring? It’s hard to say. I only pay attention to what’s under my feet when I either really like it or really hate it (you know… old, gross, synthetic carpet).
Growing up, we always had carpet, but I dreamed of a home with original hardwood floors. Maybe it was the grown shag carpet in the house I first grew up in, or any of the other stained carpets I’ve encountered in my living spaces.
I don’t have good luck with carpeting.
Spilled nail polish? Check.
Spilled India ink? Check.
Spilled wine? Check.
Makeup stains? Check.
Pet stains? Check and check.
Maybe I should stop doing these things in carpeted areas? Yeah, well maybe I should stop breathing, too.
The problem is, I don’t own my own place yet. So until then, I can’t do too much about the floor under my feet (except complain about it on the internet, obviously). And I can fantasize about all the other flooring alternatives that are so much better than carpet.
Why Carpeting is Bad
1. Carpets are Ugly
I don’t care what you say. It’s really hard to have pretty carpet. Why? Because as soon as even a little bit is dirty, your whole room looks worse. Your couch, tables, windows, etc. could be spotless, but if the dog left so much as one dirty paw print or glob of shed fur on the floor, the space is just ruined.
And how do you pick an appropriate color, anyway? Have you ever seen a nice-looking colored carpet that wasn’t one of the 50 shades of beige and/or cream? I don’t think so. Too dark a carpet just looks weird. And it will totally show all your lint. White cat on a dark carpet? Forget about it.
Grey? Too industrial looking, people. Only the light-colored carpets actually look clean, but good luck keeping them clean for more than a day post-installation.
That brings me to my next point:
2. Carpets are Dirty
Even if you suck the life out of your carpets with your vacuum frequently, AND you’ve managed to not spill your glass of Merlot (yet), enjoy the clean while it lasts. Carpets are a pain to clean and, even worse than that, they’re hard to clean. They need to vacuumed and shampooed at least once a month to keep them tolerable.
Those stains we talked about? Do you know how easy it is for mold and mildew to grow deep down in those carpets?
Eww.
And take these two words: cat pee.
Yuck.
Even if you’re OK with going nose-blind to your carpet, it’s probably chock full of allergens that will trigger your nose to simultaneously run and clog.
Carpets trap things and hold onto them for dear life. So all that cat hair, pollen, dust bunnies, and other allergens that dance through your carpeted rooms like no one’s watching stay there.
You ever try to squash an ant or a spider that’s crawling on carpet? Depending on the fibers, it can be pretty difficult. Now think of what else might be lurking in there. Think of the bugs.
*shudder*
3. Carpets are Bad News
The various allergens trapped in the death grip of your carpet can be detrimental to your health, your visitors’ health, and any people who move into your house down the line and foolishly don’t rip up the carpets.
They can smell terrible. And I don’t just mean the mildew-y essence of grape juice spilled three months ago. Off-gassing occurs when the chemicals used to make your shaggy flooring evaporate. Every time your carpet “farts” it releases VOCs into your homestead. Depending on the chemicals used, they may have some adverse health effects.
A not-so-fun fact: your carpet can fart VOCs for up to 5 years. If you think your carpet (or mattress or any other item) is producing fumes that are making you sick, cut out that toxic member of your household, please.
The Better Choice?
Yeah, yeah, plenty of people love carpet. There are so many choices, they can be so soft, they’re not as cold feeling as some of the other flooring alternatives… but you know what? That’s what area rugs are for. I am just anti-carpet, remember. I am all for some nice decorative area rugs.
You’re got other options, people.
When it comes to flooring, there are so many choices and options to fit every budget. Sure, you might not be able to afford to tile your kitchen and bathroom in Carrara marble, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something that looks just as nice for a reasonable price (absolutely do not put carpet in your kitchen or bathroom please for the love of home improvement).
Here are just some of the many materials you can use to beautify your home that is not wall to wall carpeting:
- Tile (available in more shapes, colors, and styles than carpet),
- Hardwood (it’s the best feeling when you find OG hardwood under your ugly carpet, but you can buy new or reclaimed wood, too),
- Laminate (a cheaper alternative to hardwood),
- Bamboo (a “green” wood option!),
- Linoleum (not to be confused with vinyl — look it up),
- Wool carpet (I’ll let this slide because it’s natural),
- Cork (not just for your Merlot, you know),
- And more!
When it comes to flooring, the world is your oyster.
