A Message of Support for Empaths
It’s hard being an empathic person in this political climate.
With the attempted assassination of Trump, I have to admit my denial. I have to accept that optimistic, compassionate, and centrist viewpoints have been pushed to the fringe, overtaken by a culture of polarization and division. My original intention this weekend was to share a positive message of agency for empathetic leaders through my first contributing piece for Oprah Daily, “Wait, There Are 3 Kinds of Empathy?”. The only way it felt appropriate to share this tool was in the context of this troubling moment and to show how I’m using it to process my actions.
Blame and Somatic Empathy
My first instinct was to point blame. From a somatic or emotional empathy perspective, I’m angry at all of us, consumed in our self-interest and materialism. We can’t see how our attachment to ego reinforces this inertia of individualism and apathy. We aren’t doing enough to imagine and recreate a society without extremes and division. I experience this mix of heightened emotion as heat in my body, particularly in my back and shoulders.
Cognitive Empathy and Bias
From a cognitive empathy standpoint, my emotions are similarly protective. My non-violent leaning and my judgments about how gun-related violence is perpetuated in this country cloud my ability to look at the facts of the attempt on the former president without bias. My values are at odds, making it difficult for me to articulate words consistent with my intent, integrity, and love for all members of my community. Let’s not forget, the CDC reported 48,830 gun-related deaths in the U.S. in 2021, the highest number on record, yet gun regulation remains mired in political gridlock. This is the backdrop that fuels my anxiety and frustration.
Affective Empathy and Moving Slow
I’m grateful that I’ve spent ample time running through this rubric, the Three Types of Empathy, and aspiring towards Affective Empathy. Through this practice, I’ve built the awareness and internal trust to allow myself to go slow. As someone who lives with my values and emotional awareness as my guide, I’ve always made private and public actions that consider my safety and integrity. Today, using affective empathy, I choose to move slow. I offer compassion to everyone around me and offer that you have the permission to go slowly as well.
The Strength in Slowing Down
Going slowly is not weakness. I believe the easy choice at this moment would be to ride the emotions of anger, fear, sadness, shame, and even joy into a series of words and actions that add to the inertia of division and violence. The hard choice is to mediate emotions to a place where grounded minds and nervous systems can begin to contemplate repair of safety, reconciliation, healing, and collective progress.
Empathetic Leadership in Crisis
It’s hard out here for an empathetic leader because the difficult truth is that we are far away from momentum towards such a reality. A 2022 survey by the Pew Research Center found that 72% of Americans think the country is more divided now than in the past. The job of the empathetic leader at this moment is one of survival and measured strategy. It has always been a test of endurance and commitment. Your path is yours to choose.
In these tumultuous times, slowing down and moving with intention isn’t just an option; it’s a necessity. So, let’s take a collective breath, recalibrate, and approach our actions with the empathy and patience the world so desperately needs.
Check out my recent feature in Oprah Daily “Wait, There Are 3 Kinds of Empathy?”
About Michael Tennant
Michael Tennant, CEO of Curiosity Lab is an entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and author of The Power of Empathy available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Target, and described by Inc. Magazine’s 100 NonObvious Business Books as “A Thirty-Day Path to Personal Growth and Social Change effectively balancing a self-help approach with a practical explanation of how we can use empathy as a tool.” He’s also the creator of Actually Curious™ the empathy conversation game, Values Exercise™, and the Five Phases of Empathy™. In 2022, Curiosity Lab received an investment from Pharrell and the Black Ambition Prize.
